Do you see what I see?

Snow. Freakin' snow everywhere. And more on it's way tonight...

This is our front yard:

And looking down our block:So beautiful.

Yet so frustrating...

Easy way out?

Found this on the OH board this morning - thank you, Jessica Jean!

Snowbound!

So, it never snows in Seattle. Bah. Couldn't have happened at a worse time. So much to do and no way to go do it. Can't go shopping (need to finish up Xmas shopping and shopping for Xmas Eve dinner with the fam and R&W) - not making it to our Events Team Xmas Dinner tonight. Our one and only Xmas party this year, and we can't get there, if they're still even having it. If we can't make it, sure bet a lot of the others won't be able to, either. Missed last Saturday night at the nightclub, and it doesn't look any better for this weekend.

Very bummed. And now that I've lost two days work, I'll have to come in the week after Xmas to make it up, as I can't afford to miss any more days. Next paycheck's already gonna hurt, since the company I work for has enforced a mandatory 10 day vacation, and I didn't have any days left (used them all for my surgery earlier this year). I guess I ought to be grateful I'm still working, period, but I'm feeling abused by work. Not getting my exec title back (one of these years, maybe my boss will fulfill his promise - yeah, right...), not getting proper raises.... geeeesh. And this isn't the time to look for other work - been looking; but there's a lot of competition out there right now (so many layoffs in the area). Plus, so many businesses going out of business. Best to stay put for now.

Only highlight today; down two more pounds. And I was sure I gained - been baking up a storm (Xmas cookies!) and tasting too many of my own wares - killer snickerdoodles, if I do say so myself :o)

Rambling now - maybe I just ought to go back to bed... bah, humbug.

Santa: my little, white, furry butt!

So, we take Sparky to go see "Santa" - goofiest santa we ever did see. I can appreciate this was just for "dogs," but come on. I'm not even gonna sully these pages with a pic - here's our Sparky, instead, with bells on and all!

Pictures!

Got the pictures from our wonderful day at R&W's house on Thanksgiving:

Kathy and me

Rita and her beautiful table

Wes and Rita

Pop, me and Wim

After dinner, relaxing (Rita, Wim, Wes's sister, and Mum)

A wonderful day - thank you, Rita and Wes!

Happy Holidays!

Hope you all enjoyed your Thanksgiving holiday. We had a wonderful time at our friends' house. I was able to eat a little turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing and gravy with cranberry jelly. YUM! Also had a sliver of pumpkin pie (just the mousse part - crust doesn't work well) with a little whipped cream - felt very decadent.

Been waiting to post all week, as pictures were taken and Miss R said she'd e-mail them to me, but she hasn't had the opportunity to do that yet.

So, here we are in the holiday season. I love Christmas and everything around it, but this year, I'm just not in. I'm not sure if it's the economy, or all the layoffs (both with my own company and in the area), but it's as if I feel I don't have the right to feel jovial when there's so much unhappiness around. Silly, I know, but there you go.

So, gonna try to drag out the Xmas boxes this weekend and get our place gussied up. Sparky gets his picture taken tomorrow with Santa, so I can get our Xmas cards done (I always prefer to make them, if I can). See if I can't make myself get in the mood. I was just in the supermarket, where they were playing Xmas music, and I found myself singing along, so that's a good thing.

Miss T, if you're reading this, answer my e-mail - P and I would love to see you, 'k?

Thankful

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

I am so thankful for:

• the love of my Special K
• my family and my friends
• Mr. Sparky No-barky
• still having my job, unlike 150 of my former co-workers
• still being able to afford to pay the bills and keep a roof over our heads
• the insurance from work that allowed my WLS
• the WLS itself - that it's working fantastic and that I'm able to work it
• days like this Tuesday past; had a terrific time at Mr. T's - he had a house full of women, baking up a storm - what fun we had!
• not having to do Turkey day at our house - God Bless R&W! Not only did they invite us, they also invited my folks and my brother. How nice and how cool is that?!
• waking up this morning, ready to face a new day
• my warm, fuzzy - size XL! - bathrobe

It occurs to me how lucky I am - sure, the economy sucks, there are a lot of uncertainties in the world right now, and there's a good possibility of more layoffs come January. But I refuse to worry about what I have no control over.

So right here? Right now? Life is good.

I fit!

Just have to share - I fit in my honey's lap, again. :o)

We have this big Lazy Boy recliner, and when we were "courting," I'd snuggle up in her lap, which usually led to.... (keepin' it family friendly here - you fill it in)

Well, this morning, I was on the computer, and Special K sits in the recliner behind me. As I'm turning stuff off to go get ready for work, she said, "come here," so I did, and she pulled me down in her lap. sigh - life is good

One of my favorite things to do is snuggle!

What a wonderful way to start off the day!

"ONE"derland!

In-freakin'-credible! Made it to the 100s - I was 30 last time I was in the 100s, and folks, that's just a hair away from 20 years ago! My goodness - I really have to pinch myself these days. Did this really happen? Am I going to wake up and it's all been a dream? Cuz if it is, I don't want to wake up.

Just for grins and giggles, I tried on the size 18 jeans this morning, and sure enough, they fit, with room to spare. I just can't believe it. I just tried the size 20 at the beginning of the week and was jazzed when they fit, although, I waited too long. They were a tad big already.

I thank the Goddess for being able to have taken this journey. I am grateful that our insurance actually, for once, came through for me and allowed me to have this procedure done. I am grateful that, for me, it's working. Although, I have to give myself some credit - I'm making it work. Cuz, really, it is work - don't let anyone tell you that weight loss surgery is taking the "easy way out." I've said it before - this is one of the hardest things I've ever undertaken, but it's also the best thing I could have done for myself.

I am equally surprised that my Special K hasn't gotten tired of me yet - all this self-obsession. Sometimes I feel like my focus is too much inward, but she tells me, it needs to be at this time, in order for this thing to work.

Just one of the very many, many reasons I love that woman - she's so wise.

One more to "Onederland!"

Well, I did it - I made it to 200. Can't believe I'm this excited over being 200 pounds. That's still a lot, but, man, it's been years and years and years since I've been anywhere near 200.

I got so emotional this morning - I had to call Special K into the bathroom to double check the scale for me - did it really, truly say "200"? When she confirmed that yes, it did, I started crying - I was just overwhelmed. Starting again just typing this - silly; huh?

Then I decided to try those size 20 Levi's I got from a co-worker. When I tried them last, they fit, but only after I laid down and sucked it in to zip it up. At that time, it wasn't comfortable sitting - still needed to lose a little more. Well, this morning, they zipped right up. If anything, they're a little loose. Should've worn a belt today; I keep having to hitch them up. But, dang, does it feel good!

I can't stop smiling this morning. Just constantly amazed at my journey so far and how good it all feels right now.

Stall Broken - Finally!

Wow - nearly two weeks with no lossage; very frustrating! But this morning, one pound down. Yea! Finally.

Although, if I'm totally honest, I did have a three pound gain within this two week period that I just refuse to acknowledge (too late, huh - just did), so technically, I've lost 4 pounds over the past two weeks.

Not sure why I had the gain - I'm not doing much different. We did go to Denny's for brunch (too late for breakfast, but a little early for lunch) and I ordered off the Senior menu - yes, I did! Not quite 50, but this neck of mine actually came in handy. Not only is it less expensive, but it comes in smaller portions, too, on small plates. I ordered the chicken-fried steak - had mashed potatoes on the side with a salad. Ate most of the salad, so only could do a few bites each of the steak and potatoes, but it felt so good to have a "full" meal. Typically, when I eat these days, it's all one thing (ie: soup, or beans, or salad), so it was a nice change of pace to have a "regular" meal.

But I have to realize, too, that I'm coming up to my 6 month mark, so the weight loss will be slowing down a bit. Bummer; kind of like losing 3 or 4 pounds a week - lol. But slower is better - will be apt to stay off, I'm thinking.

Yes, we can!

I cannot tell you how relieved I am that Obama is our new president-elect.

There's hope for America yet - 'nuff said.

Happy Halloween!

What fun! We always have Halloween festivities at work (pumpkin carving, cubicle/dept decorating/costumes, and as a member of the Events Team, I help with the food part (we had pizzas, salad from Panera and cupcakes from Hancock's) - loved that we had the salad choice. So very good!

This year I was the Bride of Dracula. I wore a dress from over 10 years ago - amazing that it fits. And I kept hearing, "wow, is that you?! Didn't recognize you!"

Of course, didn't help that I had a black wig on :o)

Lingerie

I found a bag this weekend in one of my dresser drawers, full of pretty lingerie that I had stuck away years ago, as it was all too small, but I didn't want to get rid of any of it, because it was all so pretty. I used to have a big thing about matching bras and panties. Then I got big. And then it didn't matter anymore where I matched or not, cuz, let's face it. One kinda lets oneself go when it ain't no fun to dress it up, ya know?

Well, it all fits again - yea, buddy! What fun! And an added bonus; the bras are underwires, so there's no band sitting on my bump.

Life is good.

Yuck

Felt yuck all weekend. Couldn't eat anything yesterday, though I tried. Got my vitamins in, but that's about it. Had to work last night (got a new gig as a restroom attendant) - very unpleasant. I brought a banana along with me, thinking if I got hungry, I could try that. Man, took two little bites and thought I was going to lose it. And ironically, I'm in a restroom, but it's in a nightclub, so it's busy - all the stalls were taken. I don't know how I managed to sit there, look pleasant and not lose my innards. It passed, after a while, but that was very hard.

I finally figured out that yesterday was the first day without Prilosec. I had finished the two-week regiment the day before. I had hoped that I wouldn't have to continue to take it - it's not meant for every day use. But after walking the Sparkster this morning, we went to Target and got some more. I took one when I got home, and it's a little better today. Had some beans and they're sitting OK, for the most part. Stomach still hurts, though not as bad as yesterday. Hopefully, tomorrow, the Prilosec will kick in and I'll feel "normal" again. I've gotten spoiled over the past two weeks - I like feeling normal lol.

So the new gig - wanted to find something very part time-ish. Thought I found it with the casino dealing, but even though that was a lot of fun, the hours are too few and far between, so I wanted something else. There's a nightclub in Bellevue - a billiard parlor, actually, with music and a dance floor, and I got the job of restroom attendant. The potential for great tips are there - I just have to build the regulars. Only two nights a week (Fri & Sat), for 4.5 hours each night. That's doable. See how long I last. Friday was my first night and it was kinda fun. Last night, not so much, but I think that's because I felt so lousy.

And oddly, on the way from my interview/training session last Wed, I got a call from the fellow that I used to update his rug sites. He wanted to know if I wanted to still work for him, as his business picked up a little and he needed the help. I said sure. So now I have three part-time jobs. The rugs, the nightclub and the business man I help a few times a week.

Whew. I'm tired just typing that.

On my way to "One"derland!

Wow - only 10 more pounds to go until I reach 200. Amazing. It's been 20 years since I weighed this "little" what a terrific feeling! I'm fitting into XLs (from a 4 or 5X) now; I tried that pair of size 20 Gap jeans on and they fit (a little snug yet, 5 or 10 more and it'll be perfect).

This weekend, I'm taking all of my over-sized clothes to Tent City out on Mercer Island. It's gotten very cold at night (37 degrees this morning!) and someone will get use out of my coats and whatnot. I'm only taking out the nice office wear, so that I bring those to "Dress for Success" in Seattle (an organization for women with little means to find something to wear to go out on interviews). I was going to try to sell my nice leather coat, but I think I'll just give that to them, as well. It's warm and it'll make me feel good to know someone will get good use from it.

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood - cold, but beautiful!

Almost Forgot! The Bump

I saw my regular doctor last Monday, and she said the bump I'm feeling is normal; everyone has it, although mine is sticking out a bit more than what's normal. She has a feeling, seeing where my drainage wounds from the surgery are, that the surgeon yanked up on this piece of bone to get to where he needed to get to, and when he was done, didn't get back as far as it was. So, between loosing the weight and that, I'm feeling it where most people don't.

Just wanted to update anyone who was wondering....

Almost to Onederland!

Finally! It's been over a week, and I "know" that's ok, but I get so frustrated when the scale doesn't go down. I was starting to feel that if it took feeling nauseous to lose weight, I'd stop the Prilosec and not work so hard on getting the water in, which is silly, of course, but that's how I felt.

But two pounds down this morning - getting close to Onederland. It's been 20 years since I've weighed 100 something, so it's still so exciting. And today is the 5th month since surgery, so 121 - not too shabby.

Went shopping this weekend and found that I'm fitting into XLs - what a feeling to go into any store, pick something you actually like off the rack and have it fit. Amazing! Found a pretty pink turtleneck, a kick-ass white/black short-cropped jacket (for dirt cheap - it was on the wrong rack, and the store honored the much, much lower price - too cool!), and a black shell I got to go with that jacket. All for just about $10 - I love discount racks! LOL Makes it so much easier to go clothes shopping. It's actually fun now, where before, I would almost dread it.

A few pictures from the Heart Walk:

From left to right; CJ, Sam, Carin, Kathy and Angela. CJ and Angela both had weight loss surgery and have done very well. Sam is doing her own thing and is down 100 pounds already! So proud of all of them. Aileen and Peggy (the other two ladies who have had this procedure) wasn't around when we had this picture taken, which was a bummer. Would've liked one with all of us.

And Kathy and me with two of the Sea Gals (cheerleaders for the SeaHawks)... Couldn't find the SeaHawk mascot, like last year. Too bad.. cute bird lol

Wonderful!

It occurred to me today that I haven't really felt nauseous since last week. I started with the Prilosec last Saturday, and I'm trying to get more water down every day (still not where I should be, but I'm trying).

It is so wonderful to feel "normal." Not to have issues with the tummy - was getting very old feeling sickly all the time.

The only thing I have to watch now is that I've noticed that I'm hungrier this week, especially in the evenings. I want to snack - not necessarily because I'm hungry; just feel like having a little something. And this is not good.

Got taken out to lunch by a vendor today - I ordered a Seafood Chopped Salad - baby greens and spinach with crab and bay shrimp, tomato, cucumber, artichoke with blue cheese crumbles and a light vinaigrette. So yummy - loved it - was able to eat a half of a small order. I was amazed how much I did eat. And here it is, just a few hours later, and I'm hungry.

All part of the process, I imagine. Gotta deal with it, and just say "no" when my mind says "go get something."

I don't get it...

The Packers won! And we had a good time. We did the bus thing again, so we got there in plenty of time, and we were able to scope the place out. Our seats were in the nosebleed section, but right on the 50-yard line, so we could see everything!

My only complaint is with Qwest Field. I just don't get how anyone can disregard a whole section of the population, no matter how unpopular. We went down right at the end of half time to go outside to blow a cloud. But, per NFL regulations, no re-entry allowed after kick-off, so if we went out of the gates, they would not let us back in. OK, fine - so where is the smoking section? You guessed it - there wasn't one! How flippin' rude is that?! We were there from 12:30 until 4:30 - that's four hours. They have this big, ole plot of land - you can't tell me they cannot designate a corner outside, away from everything for us poor folk that don't heed the surgeon general's warnings. But, no - they told us at the gate that it's the Health Dept that dictates that there be no smoking section. So, between the NFL and the Health Dept, we're screwed.

Not very nice at all.

Go, Pack!

Very excited - I was very lucky to have a friend who knew someone who knew someone who works for the Seahawk organization, and through all that, I was able to pick up a couple of tickets to today's game at Qwest Field (Pack against the Hawks), and at cost! No scalper prices for me! I'm not that into football, but my Special K most certainly is, and I do enjoy watching the Packers, even if they did treat my Brett most horribly (keep teasing K I'm gonna become a Jet fan - lol).

For most of my journey, I experience nausea quite often, with a good amount of discomfort around that bump I've got. But last week was exceptionally bad. In speaking with one of the other ladies at work who had had this surgery too, I found out a possible solution - Prilosec. Picked some up yesterday and yesterday was a joy (probably helped that I didn't wear a bra all day, too - sassy, I know, but hey, it was Saturday). Took one this morning and so far, so good. Able to enjoy my coffee and it's feeling good.

Have a great week, all! Keep your fingers crossed for the Pack!

I did it!

Well, the Heart Walk is done, and I was able to walk the entire route, ending up in much better condition that when I did it before. No heart attack this time. Although, as well as I thought myself prepared, my legs are sore! Very jazzed.

Kind of a let down, though. While this year's Heart Walk was the most satisfying for me, in terms of my personal goal, the terrific team we had and the money we raised for a great cause, it was also the most disappointing one for me. We weren't together as a company as we had been in the past, and I feel the Heart Walk itself dropped the ball this year. It was all so lackluster. There was no truck at the beginning of the walk, calling out companies names, as they've always done, and the finish banner was not at the end of the walk, it was by the doors to the stadium with no photographer to take pictures. I don't bring a camera because they always have photographers all over (and you can go on-line afterwards to get those pictures).

I know times are tough with a possible recession heading our way, and maybe that's why the Heart Walk only pulled in 1.5 mil this year (I believe that's the lowest it's raised since we've been doing this), but it was as if they showed their disappointment on Saturday. Yeah, OK, it was a little wet, but it wasn't the all-out gale and wind folks thought it would be. We even had a bit of sunshine while up on the viaduct!

Oh, well. So that's that. I'll post pictures once they become available.

Wonderful weekend with Special K, though. Even though we didn't find Fido Fest Saturday (we went to the University District after the walk and drove all through it, but just couldn't find it), we had a nice day - took Sparky to Marymore Park (he just loves it there). Yesterday, we visited Mr T up in Monroe where we met his new lady friend - love her! She's a kick - perfect match for Mr T. We had had jumbo blue crabs flown in from Maryland and had those with corn on the cob and a beautiful big fruit salad Mr T threw together.

I haven't lost anything for quite a few days now, but I'm not minding, cuz I'm glad I've not gained. I ate well yesterday!

And as for the Heart Walk, I think we'll just write a check next year.

Happy Friday

Happy Friday, everyone. Heart Walk is tomorrow, and I am very excited. Rain is in the forecast, but we're going anyway. Found out not too long ago that the Humane Society is having their fundraising walk tomorrow, too. We can't make that, but we are going to the Fido Fest afterwards. We'll have Sparky with us (he loves his car rides, and with his pillow and blanket in the back seat, he's very comfortable), so that after we finish with the Heart Walk stuff, we can head out to University District for the festival. They, unlike the Heart Walk (ok, not the Heart Walk's fault - it's Quest Field that doesn't allow animals - I'd like to know what they think those big ole sweaty football players are if not animals :o), allow us to bring our animal companions. Should be fun.

And going to see a friend on Sunday - we ordered jumbo Maine crabs (last of the season!) and will be enjoying them while watching some ball game (I'm there for the crab and company, obviously lol). I love that I can do crab, cuz that has always been one of my favorites - up there with lobster - yum!

So fun weekend coming up. Looking forward to good times, good food and good friends!

Not Happy

I'm not happy with my surgeon. I called Monday morning with a valid concern, spoke with his assistant, and I have not yet had a response from him.

I know I need to call my primary doctor, even though I have an appointment with her in about a week and a half. I go in for a mamo today, but I don't think they can take an x-ray of my chest without someone's sayso.

Very disappointed in Dr. L - I expected more from him.

Although if I think about it, it shouldn't surprise me. My first impression of him was that he was a swarmy fellow. I had changed my mind because I'm so pleased with how my experience is going, but that really isn't any indication or reflection on him. It's because of me - I'm choosing to make the most of what I've had done.

When I read the boards over at Obesity Help, I see that other surgeons demand that their potential WSL patients lose weight prior to the surgery, and do blood tests to determine whether they truly stopped smoking (if they were a smoker). Other surgeons seem to be a lot stricter than Dr L, and while I suppose I'm grateful for that (I actually gained prior to my surgery lol - went through that last-time-itis), it's always been a little annoying when I went to see him afterwards. He's so quick to get me out his office, it seems. I'll have questions, and I'll get some asked, but before you know it, I'm out the door.

Not happy. My assessment of Dr. L? Back to swarmy.

Lump/Bump

A little concerned - I've found a lump or a bump right in the middle of my chest; where my rib cage comes together. And when I press on this bump, I feel instant nausea, which tells me this must have been here for a while, because since the surgery, I've had trouble with my bras. If the band was too wide or laid just on a particular spot, it would be very uncomfortable. I finally fit into a very nice bra that's been too small for years, and the band is soft, so for the most part, I'm OK, but it must be this bump that the band is hitting to cause the discomfort.

I checked with one of the other ladies here at work that have had this procedure, and she's not noticed any bump. So, I guess I need to go check it out. I already have a mamo scheduled for this week, and I'm seeing my regular doctor next week.

Trying very hard not to freak.

Go, Team!

As many of you know, Special K and I are very involved with our American Heart Walk each year, and this year has been the most special because our team is made of employees at work that have had some sort of weight loss surgery and those that support us, and all are doing fantastic. I'm so proud of all of them.

We had our one big fundraising event yesterday at work - our annual baked potato sale. We get one-pound potatoes and we lay out a bar with all the fixings you can think of to put on a potato; cheese (shredded and hot nacho cheese), chili (regular and vegetarian), onions, bacon bits, jalapenos, sour cream (fat free and regular), steamed broccoli florets, butter, Smart Balance, and one of team members made Pico de Gallo, which was very popular - folks couldn't say enough good things about it.

We hadn't gotten as many orders as we have historically, and we think that's due to the current economy. Folks are tightening their belts and holding on to their shekels. But we made 13 extra, just in case. Well, not only did we sell all the extras, but we sold the six no-shows and one from someone out ill. Way cool. Raised a total of $432 for the Heart Walk, after expenses.

And our team? Totally, freakin' amazing. Special K and I have done this sale now for five years (this was our fifth event), and we sometimes were on our own or maybe one or two other helpers. Well, this year - phew! We had a total of seven of us down there yesterday - totally amazing. It went so well - the best ever. Very Jazzed.

So our team has met it's goal, and I made my personal goal - yea, Team!

My donation page

Donations are always welcome, if you haven't already. Even though we've reached our goals, the object is to get as much as we can for this amazing charity. The good they do is phenomenal.

Thank you!

Happy Birthday, Mum!

It's my mother's birthday today, and it's also the first day of fall.

Sad to see the summer go, for a change. I've been so cold the past several days. Gonna be a rough winter, I think.

Visited the folks yesterday to celebrate Mum's birthday. She decided she didn't want to go out to eat, so she set a table. She always sets such a nice table - she had cold cuts and breads, salmon mousse, croquettes, fried green beans (yes, you read that right - from Costco - they were good! Came with a Wasabi dip), steak tartar (used to be one of my faves - didn't even try it; just knew it wouldn't have worked), a great salad, fried broccoli and cauliflower florets and brandied cherries!

I went for the croquettes, but whereas the last time we visited, I ate a bunch, this time, the first bite told me "no, not today" so I just ate the insides out about three of them and then went for a small plate of salad. That was delicious - was able to put some egg on and had honey mustard dressing - very yummy.

People ask me if I ever miss eating "normal." Yes, occasionally - I won't lie. But very infrequently. Yesterday, looking at that steak tartar, I wanted it something fierce, but I was afraid I would get stuck and it's been a while since I have, so I didn't want to chance it. While the want was there for just a few moments, I got over it very quickly.

Cuz I'm liking what I see in the mirror more than what that steak tartar would have tasted like.

Medical Stuff

Yesterday I finally got around to getting in to the lab to have blood drawn for my surgeon. I also asked that they send the results to my regular doctor. Went ahead and scheduled my mamo that I should've done back in April and scheduled an appointment with my regular doctor about a week after that. Might as make sure all is as it should be.

When I had my follow-up with my surgeon, he expressed concern that I'm not getting enough protein in, and I agree. I also know I'm not getting enough water down every day. While I sit here at the computer, I'm good at drinking, but for the rest of the day, I forget. I always have a bottle out on my desk at work, but more often than not, I don't remember, it gets warm and it ends up back in the fridge.

One of the drawbacks from weight loss surgery is that it is extremely important to monitor your nutrition, and that's not always easy to do. Hair loss and bone mass loss are highly possible if you don't get the right nutrients down. I've had some hair loss, but very little, so I'm not sure if it's because I'm not getting enough protein or just the age thing. I feel dizzy when I bend over for any length of time and that's because I know I'm not getting enough of anything down. It would just be too funny if I end up malnourished.

Even though I feel constantly hungry, it's a different hungry than what I would feel, pre-surgery, and I can live with the feeling. It's almost become second nature. I know I should eat something, but most often just don't feel like it. I usually have to make myself eat, and I'm not sure if this is a good thing. Sometimes I actually still look forward to a meal (like today; going the folks for my mum's birthday, and she's going to have those little croquette balls - yum!).

So, I'm just waiting to see how my blood work comes out. Hopefully, all is well, or at least still fixable.

I find it ironic that I started out life not really wanting to eat much. My mother always struggled with me to get food down. Then I hit puberty and hit the tarmac running and wouldn't stop eating. It would be really funny if I reverted back to not wanting to eat for the last part of my life.

A circle complete. Ah, well, that's supposed to be good thing, at least in the Chinese culture.

100 and counting!

Did it - reached 100 pounds lost this morning!

Still amazed!

One more to go!

Finally!!! Dropped another pound this morning, making it a total of 99. One more 'til 100. My goodness - I still find this amazing. Even though this is one of the hardest things I've ever done, it is so totally worth it, and I am still amazed at the results. Every body is different, and different folks respond differently. It also depends on how serious they are and if they watch what they're eating.

I have naturally gravitated over to salads and soups and fruits, because my taste buds have changed. Things that tasted good pre-surgery no longer do - for example, rice. I used to love rice. It just doesn't taste the same anymore. I'm liking fruit a lot more than I did. Craving veggies. I pretty much don't eat meat or poultry anymore, cuz it just doesn't work. Occassionally I'll have ground beef or ground chicken, but I do much better with fish, and while I always liked fish, I like it more now.

My number one problem before was my Coca-Cola habit - 3,4, sometimes 5 cans/bottles a day. Now I just don't care for the taste of it - I prefer 7-Up, which I never cared much for before. And I drink very little at a time - I prefer it in my frosty mug so that it turns to ice and I eat it with a spoon. Weird, huh? I do occassionally crave some chocolate, but when I do, I like a Butterfinger. I bought a bar a few weeks ago, and that thing lasted me over a week. I'd have a bite and I was fine.

I'm trying to instill some good eating habits, so that when my 6-month honeymoon period is over, I can sustain the weight and not put it back. That would be the ultimate let down for me, if I allowed myself to do that. Just shoot me then, and be done with it, cuz I did not go through all this just to end up big again. That just is not an option. If I see myself headed that way, I swear I'll get my jaw wired shut.

My follow-up with Dr L went great - he was amazed how much I have lost in just over 3 months. He has a concern, as I do, that I'm not getting enough protein, so he ordered a blood test. I need to go do that. But he's pleased with my progress.

So, onwards and upwards. The holidays are approaching (where did this year go?) and I have to mentally prepare myself that things are different this year, so many things I enjoyed in the past are no longer an option. Thanksgiving will be interesting.

But I have to remember it's just one day. And that's all I can do, is do it one day at a time.

So far, so good.

Happy Birthday, Sparky!

Can't believe I neglected to mention that we've had Sparky for a year on September 7th, this past Sunday. We're calling Sept 7th his birthday cuz we don't know really what it is or how old he really is - pretty sad, huh?

We rescued Sparky last year. We were actually looking for a little Yorkie terrier, only because a friend of ours had one named Griz and he was just the cutest thing - great personality and very affectionate. So we were lookin' for our Griz. Ironically, we always thought we wanted Westies, and sure enough, we came across Sparky on petfinder.com. We actually saw him for about two months, and while we thought him cute, we kept looking for a Griz.

Then one day, Special K calls me into the den and sez, "You gotta see this - Sparky's message has changed," and sure enough, now next to his picture, it said "Help! I've only got two days left!"

So, we called the number - it was a 360 area code (up in Bellingham) and it was a woman who ran a poodle rescue. The dog, however, was down in Arizona, she explained. Her daughter worked for a vet, who had taken Sparky in from a kill shelter and housed him until they could find him a home. After several months, the vet said enough - gotta go by the end of the week, which would have meant back to the kill shelter.

So we ponied up the $100 for his airfare and $80 for him to be fixed and tagged, and picked him up two days later. The ad on petfinder stated he was six years old - his paperwork said eight years old. Our vet said more like nine or ten. My goodness. Rough not knowing the exact age or what his birthday is, but all they could tell us is that he came from an abused situation. And you could tell, too. He was so timid. Got him home and he just walked over to the wall and stood facing the wall with his head down and his tail between his legs. Every time we reached to pet him, he flinched.

We had gone out the night before we were due to pick him up and gone to Pet Co on a shopping spree - bought everything we thought a dog would need. A carrier, a bed, a blanket - bowls, food, leash, collar, toys, etc., etc. He did not like that carrier. Found out much later that all his bottom teeth are fractured. The vet said it was consistent with grabbing on to a fence or cage and trying to yank it open. He had no interest in the balls or toys. Ate like we were going to take his food away. And he was so sore from his operation - he kept trying to sit or lay down, and you could just tell he was in pain. I really wish they had stated his true age - then I would have protested having him fixed. That didn't need to happen. He was such a little sad sack. Growled whenever you tried to pick him up or got too close to his face. Not a snuggle bunny at all - I don't think he ever knew love or affection.

He's very handsome in his face and I suspect he was a stud for a puppy mill. He's our little ole man, now - sway back, bow legs and all, but he is just so dang cute.

Now, a year later, he's like a different dog. We get home from work and he's so excited to see us, tail a'waggling, jumping for joy. Then he does this race up and down our long hallway from the living room to the back bedroom (where the sliding door leads out to the carport). So very cute. And while he never got into balls, he loves his Bobo, his papaguyo (toy parrot) and a plush bone. He now lets us pick him up and snuggle him - he loves it when we lift him up onto the bed with us and he gets double lovin' from us both. Or up in our laps while we're watching TV - it's just amazing how far he's come. Gotta be careful - he still flinches if you reach for him too quickly, but he certainly knows he's the king of the house. Loves his walks, especially when we take him to one of the many, beautiful parks around our house.

So, we don't know his birthday. We're calling it Sept 7th, cuz that's the day he was reborn, when he came to us. And we love the f**k outta this little guy - I am amazed just how much he's woven himself into both of our hearts. I can't imagine life without the Sparkster.

I'm so very glad he rescued us.

Yea, Mariners!

Special K and I had a wonderful weekend. We visited the folks on Saturday - it was a beautiful day for a drive. Mum made her fabulous croquettes, and I was able to eat a bunch of them! So yummy. Took the Sparkster with us - he loves his car rides.

Yesterday, we went to a Mariner game at Safeco Field. A co-worker had given us the tickets, as she couldn't go. What a wonderful afternoon. We drove to the park and ride, and then caught the game special to the ball park. Only way to go. No hassle trying to find parking and maneuvering through the traffic - less expensive, too. We saw one parking lot charging $25! Outrageous. The bus cost us $12 total, coming and going. It dropped us off right at the corner of the park, and picked us up at the same place. We were in and out so fast. Beautiful. And then the game - it was a gorgeous summer's day - I was just a little chilly as our seats were in the shade the entire time, and there was a wind blowing, but Special K brought her jacket - good thing for me. I had nachos (chips, cheese and jalapenos!) and K had a dog - we shared a beer, and then some peanuts. Felt terrific - made it even nicer. And the Mariners won! Yea, team!

Only frustrating thing - it's been about a week, and no pounds lost. I know there will be plateaus, but a week. Not liking that.

Seeing my doctor today for my 3-month follow-up.

Moonface!

Got a nice e-mail today from an old friend down in So Cal ( he and his partner lives right there in North Hollywood - oops! "scuse me - in Valley Village!) He and I used to work together, once upon a time. He is such a hoot - a lot of fun to be around.

I really love living up here in the Northwest, but sometimes, I really miss L.A. - actually it's people we left behind that I miss. Moonface is one of these people - such a sweetheart; a total love. Sassy, too, though - one thing that always comes to mind is his hair. If it was raining or too windy, good Lord, watch out. Never a strand out of place. Too funny!

So, it was terrific hearing from him and finding out he's been reading this blog (Hi, Mr. S! man - that sounds stuffy; ok, let's try this - Hi, Moonface! yup, much better) and hearing his good wishes.

Just really grateful for the terrific family and friends that I have - life goes best with love!

Early Autumn

We all have the sniffles at home - Sparky, included. This past weekend, it was as if Autumn has come early. It was so cold! And the weather service lied, natch. It was supposed to be a beautiful weekend - no rain, mid 60's - very comfortable. It wasn't. It drizzled a little Saturday morning, but then the sun played peek-a-boo all day. Sunday, it rained. Several times. Most annoying.

You see, we had our yard sale this weekend. Half the proceeds are going to the AHA Heart Walk. We did best on Saturday and less than a third of that on Sunday. Most disappointing. We barely reached $200, so we're rounding it up, and $100 will go to the Heart Walk. Really expected to do better than that, and I blame the weather. No one wanted to come out in such icky conditions. Oh, well, we do what we can.

And the cold - I felt like I was freezing all weekend. I very nearly turned the heat on yesterday, but our house is very drafty and takes a lot to heat. It's expensive, so I didn't want to start that yet. My sweats are falling off of me - really need a new pair. And I wore socks yesterday! For those that know me and my hatred of pretty much anything on my feet, that's something. I have to wonder if it's the weight loss that's making me feel the cold so much more. It was the same at work last week - I pretty much froze all week. Good thing I have a shawl here or I would've been sitting at my desk with my jacket lol.

So, it's September already. And Fall will be here soon enough.

I think it's gonna be a very cold winter.

Half way there!

This is all just so exciting. I am half-way to my goal. At least, I think I am. I have no clue how much I need to lose. My goal is 150 - at 5' 9.5", I think that's reasonable. The lowest I've been in years (20 years ago, now) was 190, and that put me in size 14 - 16. I'd like to be a 10 or a 12; we'll just have to wait and see how that pans out.

We're holding a yard sale this weekend, with half the proceeds going to the AHA Seattle Heartwalk. We were going to give it all, but then we realized this mama needs some more new clothes. Most of my wardrobe is just way too big, now, and I need some more smaller things. Warmer things - it's cold outside today, and if this is an indication how our fall/winter is gonna be, I definitely will be needing some warm stuff. All my jackets are way too big. Bummer, though; I hate to buy a jacket until I'm down to my goal weight. Need to visit some thrift stores and see what I find.

I'm also grateful, that so far, my skin is shrinking along with the weight. I've seen and heard horror stories of folks that have gone through WLS with pounds of excess skin hanging from their bellies and arms and legs. The only part of me not disappearing as well as I'd like is my chin. Never realized I was so vain, but I'm hatin' that chin. Lots of wrinkles - bleh.

But I'm feeling great these days, and that's the most important part.

New Pics

Went to our company picnic this Saturday past - what a wonderful day! It was hotter than I would have liked (in the 90's, it was), but R&W got there just before we did and scored us a lovely spot by the creek, in the shade and with a picnic table. And throughout the afternoon, no matter where the sun moved, we stayed in the shade. Everyone had a good time.

Here are some pics, showing the current "me." Man, when did my hair turn white? Yeah, ok, grey.

Time to make a trip to the hairdresser.

Feel the Heat!

We here in the Northwest have been very lucky this summer. We have had a few days where the temperatures creeped up to the 80's and low 90's, but very few. Compared to the rest of the country, not too bad.

Yesterday was one of those rare summer days where it got hot - upper 80's. And I have never cared for hot. My preference is a cool, cloudy day - much more comfortable. I am always amazed at myself when I think how many years I lived in Southern California, and I did most of my living in the San Fernando Valley. If you're not familiar with the area (in Los Angeles), the summer there sees temps up to 115, sometimes. I lived in the pool down there.

Anyway, I noticed yesterday that while it was hot, I was not overly uncomforable. Still didn't care for it, but I wasn't to the point of extreme discomfort, as I once was when it would get that hot. I have to put that down to not being as big as I used to be.

Nice perk.

Bad Day Yesterday

(sigh) Still learning. Started yesterday wonderfully - had a blouse on that we've had for years, but it never fit. Now it does. And it's pink - one of my favorite colors.

Then I had lunch at about 12:30. Four bites of Thai noodles with peanut sauce. The fourth bite already told me I blew it. Went into that dying mode - got stuck, kept throwing up, and it hurt like there's no tomorrow. I called Special K and asked if she would drive me home, which she did. The drive home was very painful - I felt every little bump and going uphill? Not pleasant. It wasn't until about 5:30 or 6:00 that I started to feel not so bad. Walked Sparky - thought I was hungry and tried to eat, but one bite told me no, wasn't ready for that.

Can't believe I got like that from noodles. I've done pasta with no problems. Only thing I can think of is the Thai noodle is a bit heavier than regular pasta. Very frustrating.

Today? I feel bruised inside. Had a creamsicle protein drink for breakfast (vanilla protein powder mixed with organic OJ) and plan on a tomato soup for lunch.

Gonna be a liquid day.

Chip Day!

Yesterday I had a very pleasant afternoon visiting friends, T & J and their dog, Hershey. Brought Sparky with me - he had a ball. Slept like a log last night while Special K and I were watching the Olympics.

I haven't had the opportunity to see T & J for quite a while - used to work with T, once upon a time. Still miss her presence here at work - she was always such a chipper, joyous person to associate with. She's one of those folks that always has a smile on their face.

So, it was fun; she congratulated me on my weight loss to date and had lots of questions. She is one of my faithful readers (Hi, Miss T!)

So, I had a breakfast drink/smoothie from Jamba Juice yesterday morning - fortified with whey protein. Could only drink half - very filling. While sitting with Miss T, we had chips and salsa - very good! And then I went to pick up Special K at Costco and she had discovered a wonderful Mango Peach Salsa, so of course, we had to get some. And I had that for dinner last night. Even though it comes in a jar, it tasted so very fresh. Sweet, but not so sweet, with just a little kick to it. Very good!

When I went to bed, I was reviewing my intake for the day, and it occured to me - it was a chip day! Glad I had that Jamba Juice thing, cuz nutrition-wise the rest of the day? Not so good. The mango-peach salsa is very low calorie-wise, but all those Fritos in the afternoon and then the Tostitos white corn chips at night - whew!

Have a great week, everyone!

One day at a time....

I'm finding that I go a full week without the scale showing me any pounds lost, and then I step on the scale and I'm down 2 or 3 pounds. Keep telling myself to only weigh in once a week. But I can't help it - it's like I'm obsessed.

Down 3 more this week - yea! But it's almost like torture, the days leading to the weight loss.

I'm not known for my patience :o)

Not so photogenic :o)

Never have been very photogenic, but here's a pic from last week's work event - Wet 'n Wild:
Going to the folks this weekend and Pop's got a newer digital camera. Maybe I can get him to take some better shots.

I know it's not a great pic, but those grey pants? Used to be skin tight. And I couldn't wear my Events Team t-shirt - I was busting out of it.

If I had to pick one thing I didn't like most, it's that doublechin (runs in the family on my father's side). Whenever I would lose weight previously in my life, once my face came back, the chin would disappear. I guess it's an age thing now, cuz it doesn't seem to be goin' anywhere. Oh, well....

Girls go Shopping!

We went shopping for clothes Saturday afternoon, and what fun! I badly needed pants that fit. We had planned on visiting some thrift shops, but we started (and ended!) at Catherine's, which is a fat lady store. Been shopping there for years. They've always had nice, sporty clothing all the way up to 5x.

Well, my tops? From a 5x to a 3x. My pants? From 3x to 1x or 2x, depending on the cut. It was a lot of fun trying things on and actually see a much better shape. I know I still have a ways to go, but my goodness. The store was having a clearance sale, and everything we got was from those racks. Got 3 pairs of pants and 4 blouses and 1 vest, all for $120. Not too shabby. Not quite the $5 pants I had envisioned from the thrift store, but all very nice, quality items, so that's a plus.

Oh, and pants - some go by X's, but some go by actual sizes. I was able to zip up a size 24. I haven't been a 24 in years! More like 28 or 30.

So nice that clothes shopping is fun again.

Happy Saturday!

Life has been sweet - no bad days this week. Although Thursday we had an event at work that involved a dunk tank (a fund raiser for our company's Heart Walk team) and since I'm on the Events Team, I was helping out. Having been cool and overcast all week, we were worried it would be that way on Thursday, but luckily the sun came out and it got warm. However, I was chasing and picking up the balls. Between standing in the sun and bending over repeatedly, I got very dizzy(er!) twice. Most disconcerting, but I knew it was my own fault. I didn't eat enough that day. Ah, well. Gotta focus on getting those calories and protein in.

A very nice co-worker brought in two pair of really nice jeans that didn't fit her anymore. Said she used to work at a Gap, and they are beautiful. They are a size 18 and a 20, and I don't think the 20 will fit yet. Special K wants me to try - thinks the 20 will already. We'll see - I'll try it later on this morning.

In any event, I need pants. Mine are all falling off my hips. Later today, we're gonna hit some thrift shops and Avenue and Catherines to see if we can find some on the cheap. Don't want buy anything too expensive only to have it be too big again in a few months.

Life is good.

Svelte!

Passed a co-worker today, and he said, “you’re looking quite svelte these days.” How exciting is that? I would never have linked the word “svelte” with me. Made me smile, it did.

This morning, lamenting the lack of pants in my closet, I came across a skirt/blouse set that we had bought, what, maybe three or four years ago. We bought it because it's just my cup of tea (black with sage, beige and lavender floral print) and it was on a sales rack at Mervyns. I think we paid like $10 or $13 for it. Only problem it was way too small. I almost got rid of it last year when I cleaned out our closets, but I just loved the print.

It caught my eye this morning, and I thought that I would give it a try. It fits perfectly.

I'm feeling beautiful today.

Still Learning...

Died again Saturday. I went to the Lavender Festival with Miss R (Special K had to work so she couldn't come with) - it was a perfect day. Beautiful weather - upper 60's to low 70's. At one point, we were sitting in the shade and I was almost too cold. And we had a good time. Even the drive was very nice - it was great to catch up on things with Miss R, who had recently (May this year) remarried to a really nice fellow, W. When we moved last year into our duplex, there were so many things that needed doing, and the handyman from the rental office was pretty much useless, so W stepped in and did a lot for us. So very sweet of him.

Anyway, back to Saturday - we were at the fair in downtown Sequim when we got to the food court section and it was time for lunch. Looking at all their offerings, I saw my choices were very limited. They had pizza, gyros, bbq ribs, shimp/crab bakes (thought about those but too much bread), and Thai. I thought my best bet was the Thai, as they had chicken satays. Cool - ordered one of those, but after I paid, I asked for the peanut sauce and they said they didn't have any. They would have it the following day on Sunday. I said that didn't do me any good today, does it? Think they cared? No. Miss R said to give it back and we would find something else, but I really didn't think there was anything else so I kept it. Ate a small portion of the end, but man, was it dry. Very disappointing.

I was fine for the rest of the fair - I think because I was walking and that moved things around in there. But once we got in the car, I started to feel uncomfortable. And more we drove, the worse it got. I could just feel the pressure building. Poor Miss R - I was horrible company on the long ride back. I even dosed a bit - and I let myself, thinking I might feel better once I woke up. Nope. Had to get home so I could "lose" my lunch. And of course, I felt every little bump in the road. That was a hard trip. I was so happy to see my house.

It was about 7:30 when we got home and I was done for the day. Woke up around 3 am still feeling a bit yuck, but when I got up Sunday morning, I felt much better. Spent Sunday at Big Bro Dude's place - cooked up a steak for him, with garlic toast and snow peas. I knew better to try steak (and boy, at that moment, I really wanted it) - stayed with the toast and snow peas. And was glad I did later on in the day.

I really appreciate it now when I feel good :o)

Dizzy(er) today

I am actually at that point where I have to make myself eat. I brought a yogurt to work this morning, but I didn't realize it had that asphertame stuff in it, so I couldn't eat it. And of course my work day got underway - fully meant to go make oatmeal, but I just never got there.

So, it's 2:45 and I'm eating for the first time today. This isn't good. And then I wonder why I feel dizzy.

Yesterday, same thing. Didn't eat breakfast - had some chicken salad late morning. I had a cherry slushy from 7-11 (hey, it was hot and it sounded good and it was!) and some slices of cucumber in the afternoon while I was chopping cucs and onion to make a cucumber salad. Then a handful of peanuts late afternoon and some soy chips around 9:00. Even though the peanuts and chips are good sources of good fat and protein, I need to eat real food.

It's just seems so not worth bothering making myself a meal when I'm only going to eat three or fours bites. Now, if Special K or I make something for dinner we can both eat, that's different, but oftentimes, we do our own thing.

Now, drinking - I have no problem, other than having to do it slowly. Like the slushie - that goes down very easily. I've even had soda a few times now (gotta watch that - was hoping that craving would go away) and as long as I drink it slowly, I'm ok. And oddly enough, coke doesn't sit that well - I do better with 7-Up or Sprite, which I only tolerated before. Haven't tried alcohol yet - that kind of scares me for some reason.

So, making Tuna Surprise for dinner for both of us (a childhood recipe from Special K's family - tuna, mushroom soup and potato chips - sounds weird but so yum!). Should be ok.

Have a great week, everyone! Stay cool!

It's being a good day!

Happy Thursday, my faithful one or two readers :o)

Feelin' good today. Lots of energy. Had a lunch meeting and was actually able to enjoy the taco bar. Made half a chicken taco, took a spoonful of rice and of beans, and away I went. I was able to nearly finish the taco, but I recognized the full feeling and stopped. That's something I always have to be careful about - stopping before I get too full; otherwise, it will not be comfortable.

Getting wonderful comments from co-workers - that's so much fun. Nice for folks to notice I'm "melting" away.

One observation I've had over the past few days is that my "affair" with food is changing. I no longer see the food commercials on TV, I mean, I "see" them, but I'm not really paying attention as I once did (oooo, look at that steak - want one! type of thing). This again is something I hope stays this way. I like not obsessing over food. I'm not missing the candy bars, the cupcakes, etc. Actually, I've had a doughnut (Kathy brought some home - mini doughnuts - from Starbucks - 0gr fat) - it was an old-fashioned and went done easily. I've had ice cream (Dibs - the little bites of vanilla covered in chocolate - but instead of eating the whole box at once, I'd have 4 or 5 pieces). I've had bread - whole grain - not even half a slice - all that would fit :o) But I'm enjoying fruit more - trying veggies, but they don't digest so well yet.

All about portion control and knowing your limits.

No Beef For Me!

I ate the beef last Thursday, from the barbeque, and I died for the rest of the day. It hurt so bad. I also threw up repeatedly last Thursday, well into the evening. That damned beef would not come up. And I ate so little of it! That's the thing that surprised me the most. Four little pieces - and I was good - I chewed the hell out of those four little pieces. Tasted wonderful, but totally not worth the misery I went through afterwards.

So. No beef for me yet. I do ground beef ok, but not steaks or flanks yet. Ah, well - it'll come.

Then, I went ahead and did almost the same thing on Saturday. I had chicken. Now, I've already done chicken several times so far and did alright. But I either ate too much of it, or I didn't chew it properly (I did eat it standing up at the counter, one piece for me, one piece for Sparky, one piece for me, one piece for Sparky, and so on), and I suffered for the rest of the day.

The horrible thing about getting like that? I can't even drink water. It gets stuck. And I cannot lie down to try to "sleep it off." The minute I lay down, it wants to come up.

I know the "rules." I know I'm supposed to cut every little thing I eat into teeny tiny little pieces and eat slowly and chew everything to smithereens before swallowing. But that's not a natural way to eat, and I don't always remember. But I'm sure that's what helped contribute to the size I had become - not being aware.

You can bet I'm aware now.

Barbeque Today!

Today, one of the departments reporting to my boss is having a bbq, and they're always very sweet about inviting me to their functions (as an admin to the director over the bldg, I don't really belong to any one dept).

I usually love potlucks and bbq's, but it will be interesting today to see what I can eat. This is their annual 4th of July bbq, and one of their employees always makes a Mexican dish - flap-sirloin meat, marinated, with rice and beans and salsa, with tortillas. So very good.

I'm hoping I can manage a few pieces of the beef. I've had ground beef and I've had chicken, both of which has sat very well, but I haven't done steak or straight beef yet. Been jonesing for a really nice steak.

I just hope it don't hurt. But only one way to find out.

Happy 4th of July, everyone!

Rainier Cherries!

Got bold and tried fresh fruit last night, only because I found Rainier cherries at Safeway, and those are my absolute fav! The best thing about July? Not the holiday, not the sunshine - it's the Rainier cherries! We are on the look-out all through July for the stands by the side of the road selling cherries - they're less expensive and usually taste better than what you get in the market. Not sure why, but there you go.

But anyway, I was able to eat a handful of cherries and a half a tangerine last night along with my Boca Burger - YUM! It was great to enjoy a meal and not just go through the motions because I know I have to eat. It floors me that I, of all people, have to force myself to eat. What a turn-around from what I was before.

I just hope it lasts.

Starting to be fun!

Down 52 - amazing! I have on a pair of shoes that I have not been able to wear comfortably since I got them last year - amazing! I climbed stairs this morning and was able to have a conversation once I got to the top because I wasn't all out of breath - amazing!

This is starting to be fun. It's great to see my face again; it's even great to have all my pants hanging on me. It's wonderful to be able to put on a blouse that I bought because I loved it, but it didn't come big enough to fit me then. Now it fits. And I was right - it's really pretty.

I'm loving the good wishes I'm getting from my friends and co-workers - it's nice to hear how well I'm doing. The support and good feelings I'm getting from folks - amazing.

AND - my sleep apnea? Gone. My blood sugar? Low. Amazing how different just 50 pounds can feel. I lift my little Westie (he's just under 20 pounds) and I'm amazed how heavy that feels and that I carried 2 and a half times that on my frame.

Life is good.

Follow-up

I had my follow-up with my doctor yesterday. He confirmed all is going well. As for why I'm so tired all the time, he suggests that I increase my daily calory intake to 1000. Good lord. Having a hard time getting in 750, and now I've got to do more. One good thing, though - I'm pretty much allowed solid foods now. Still need to stay away from items hard to digest, like steak, chicken, corn, fresh veggies, but at least I can eat now, instead of just drink.

I have been experimenting - had tuna salad a few evenings ago - that sat well. Had baked potato night before last - just a small pat of butter with light sour cream, chives, a few bacon bits - yum! Felt good to eat something and actually enjoy eating it.

I'm down 41 pounds so far - I'm in my fourth week out, so I think that's pretty good.

I didn't think about this before, but I think I'm going to have trouble with clothing. My jeans were just falling of me yesterday. I used to have clothes of all sizes, but when we moved last year, we cleaned out our closets and I got rid of a lot of stuff I wasn't wearing at the time. But I'd hate to have to buy stuff only to have it fit for just a few months before they're too big.

Ha! If this is my biggest worry, I'm doing ok.

Happy Friday the 13th, everyone!

I'm Home!

Got home a week ago today. Had to stay an extra day in the hospital, as three of my incisions were bleeding heavily. Once they said my blood count was ok, they let me go. They don't tell you you're going to have about 6 incisions, not that that matters, but my belly looks humungous and bruised - all purple, green and yellow. So attractive lol

Took a while to figure out how to get the 750 calories and 60 grams of protein down each day. All I can say is THANK GOD FOR MY SPECIAL K! I wouldn't have been able to do this without her. I already knew how lucky I was to have her in my life before this, but this experience has certainly confirmed it.

Will write more later. Thinking of doing some sample days for folks just getting home - I know it would've helped me.

One day to go...

This time tomorrow, I'll probably be in recovery. Nervous. Excited, but nervous.

Keepin' my fingers crossed all goes well.

Uh, oh

I've been sassy. I was at one week and three days without a single cigerette. Then I panicked and bought a pack "just to have" on Wednesday. Had one Wed night when I walked the Sparkster. Had one last night with a glass of Amerretto over ice. Had two today - one at lunch and just now (we went out for dinner with our newly wed friends and got home about 15 mins ago) while Special K is out walking our canine companion. As I smoked, I looked up smoking and surgery.

That's where the "uh, oh" comes in - I learned that one should be smoke-free for at least 4 weeks before the surgery to have any benefits in regards to the anesthesia that will need to be administered. While I've certainly smoked way less than I was used to, I still had the occassional ciggie, thinking it couldn't hurt.

Wrong. What a dunderhead I am - I should've looked this info up when I had my first ciggie after quitting. I wonder if that would've made a difference to me, as I'm finding I'm really hating not being able to smoke. While I like the fact that I smell better, and who wouldn't love all the money I'm not spending on the cancer sticks, I resent being made to do something I didn't buy into.

While I certainly believe just a few is way better than the pack and half to two packs a day, it seems just one can screw you up. What a dunderhead I am. Ah, well, can't cry over smoked butts. Going to try to not smoke anymore until at least after the surgery. Be interesting to see how Tuesday goes, and if I've done any damage. I suppose I'll have to tell the anethesiologist.

I feel like a naughty school girl.

Hi, Ho, Silver, Away!

So, picked up my new sexy sleepwear yesterday - my biPap mask. It's a strange looking device - a strap fits over the top and the sides of my head, with the hose going up over my nose to the top of my head. I feel like something out of a sci-fi flick, but you know what? I slept fantastic last night. Feeling very rested this morning. Slept straight through to 4:30 - haven't done that for a while.

Had my Special K's fabulous 'schetti's last night with garlic bread - my last supper - lol. I wanted to use this last week to try to lose 10 - 15 pounds before the surgery one week from today. So, goodbye, my old friend, Coca Cola (I am quite the Coke head - this I think will be harder for me than giving up my cigs) - it's been swell. I keep feeling like I'll never have a lot of foods that I love ever again, so I have to keep reminding myself that that's not so. Once I'm fully healed, I can eat whatever I like - just a very small portion. And as my father always used to tell me, "lekker is maar een finger lang." (Dutch - translation: delicious is just a finger long - basically means one or two bits is just as good as a whole plate-full).

Start!

Another one of my goals this year is to walk the entire Heart Walk route, instead of the one mile route. This will be our fifth year walking. The first year, we did the entire walk - 3. something miles up a viaduct and back again. At the end, I thought I was going to die - my chest hurt so badly and my legs were so shaky. Every year after that, we did the little one-mile route they have on the side.

This year? The full route - very excited. There are several co-workers that have had or will be having gastric bypass surgery, and we're trying to make a team to celebrate our new bodies and healthy (ier) hearts!

Here's the link to my donation page, should you feel inclined to donate to such a worthy cause :o)

My donation page

Success!

Just came back from a follow-up with my sleep disorder doctor - my 2nd sleep study last week with the mask was a total success. I slept like a normal person. Really bummed now that I missed my appt this morning to actually get my mask - have to wait until Monday, now.

The Bro Dudes

Well, finally had dinner with Big Bro Dude. He's the EMT - and his concerns were that I realize this is a for-life decision and that I won't ever be able to eat as I can now. Explained to him that was the point. Obviously, the way I eat now is not healthy. While it's fun, it's not good for me. I need to shift my focus from food to something else.

Ever notice that one of your first thoughts of the day is "what can I eat?" or "what shall I have for lunch?" How about the afternoons at work? No matter how busy it gets, there's always that "gee, what sounds good for dinner?" or "hey, the weekend's almost here - to what restaurant shall we go to treat ourselves?"

And exchanged e-mails from my younger bro dude (he lives in another state and he's an RN - just got his masters - Go, R!) He's very supportive, so that made me feel good.

Blew my appt this morning to get my sleep mask - rescheduled for Monday. Less than two weeks away, now... my goodness!

Not a single cigerette this week - yea, buddy!

Back Slide....

OK, so I had a bad weekend as far as the ciggies go... Had two on Sat, but then overindulged on Sunday - just said "fuck it - I'm gonna smoke today." Had about 11, I think - and man, it made me so ill - I was out like a light for two days. Did nothing almost but sleep. My Special K took me to the doctor's yesterday - had an EKG; good to know my heart's ok. Doctor asked me if I was suffering from "one-last-time-itis" and I lauged and said "Yes!" Said I was supposed to lose weight before the surgery, not gain it. And apparently I gained big time since I saw her on 4/22. So, back on the wagon this mornig - fruit & yogurt for breakfast - not a single cig since Sunday early evening.

Did make my follow-up appt from my 2nd sleep study (which went much better than the first) and to get my sleep mask this Friday. It's all starting to come together.

The Current Uncute Me