Thursday, December 31, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
Been visiting the folks every free day we can. Spent the afternoon/evening there yesterday; we brought dinner to cook for them (to give the boys a break). Steak for Pop, Wim and Kathy, and Mum and I had bbq chicken-less chicken :o) (made from tofu, but so good - I ate a lot of this right after my surgery). I was afraid she wouldn't even want to try it, but she did and she liked it! She's been eating much better since she's home from the hospital, but it's clear that she's not well. While we were there yesterday, she spent most of the time in bed. She had fallen a few days before and wrenched her back, so now bed is the only place it doesn't hurt. She asked the fellas to take her to the ER today so that they could get it x-rayed to see what's going on.
Not ready at all for Xmas. I've not mailed a single box yet, and it doesn't look like I'm going to in time for Xmas. Oh, well. I do what I can. I'm exhausted, and there's still so much to do.
I'm not a praying woman, but I'm going to ask that if you are, to pray for Mum. Right now, she needs all the help she can get.
Monday, December 14, 2009
And I can't stop crying.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
And everyone behaved - no-one fed Sparky any treats. He was pretty much bored with the whole thing, I think.
One of the fellas brought him a toy elephant, though - very sweet. Spark's been sleeping with that thing ever since. He loves new toys.
And Saturday was terrific, too - so good to see R&W. Had a wonderful dinner with them, and then instead of going out for breakfast the next morning, we decided to stay in and have breakfast at home. So much better - gave us more time to visit.
Wonderful 5-day holiday - all went way too quickly, though. But it always works out that way, huh?
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Thanksgiving is coming - excited about that. We're going to have a housefull and then two days later on Saturday, R&W is coming to stay the night (our friends who moved to mid-California back in May - they're coming up to spend Turkey day with his family). We're going to celebrate both Thanksgiving and Christmas to take advantage of them being here.
Thursday will be family and friends - the folks, the big bro dude, T&J (w/o Mr. Big - he's not doing so well, poor baby - bitch to get old and have parts not work right), Miss P, Mr. T. and R.G. That will make 10 of us. Have to remember to tell everyone that no-one is allowed to feed Sparky anything. Don't want a repeat of our Xmas/New Year celebration at the beginning of this year. So many folks fed him tidbits here and there that come evening, he was puking his guts out. I was amazed to see what came out of him. I guess they didn't realize that they were ALL giving him treats. He's going to hate it, cuz he does love to eat, but I don't want him sick again.
If I don't post before then, Happy Thanksgiving!
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Been better the past few days and dropped a couple pounds since the weekend. I did weigh in at 185 Sunday morning and this morning, it said 182. I do alright mornings into early afternoon, but mid-afternoon, I start getting peckish and look for unhealthy treats. I'll even bring in my protein bars or an apple, but that's not what my brain wants. So I go have a few jellybeans or candy corn, and once I do that, I think to myself that the day is lost anyway, go have whatever. Nights are even worse - I'll have dinner, but afterwards, while I'm watching TV and playing on the computer, I have my glass of wine and then I want to snack - chips, crackers and cheese, cookies - whatever's there.
My size 12s still fit, but they're getting snug. I don't have any other sizes and I refuse! to go buy anything bigger. I almost wish a doctor would sew my lips shut and just allow a hole for a straw. Almost tempted to go look up a hypnotist; trick my brain into thinking that eating is just to sustain the body - NOT FOR ENJOYMENT!
Dang. I know all the right things to do. It's like an obsession, but my will power is nil. Maybe I should go see a shrink.
Friday, October 23, 2009
and here, too:
Christmas is coming - makes a perfect gift!
Friday, October 2, 2009
I've also started another blog. K's been telling me for a while to get this up, especially when I come home from the club with another story. If you're interested, the link is over to the right, under "My Faves."
Almost quitting time. Then home to walk the Sparkster - glad to see the sun shining (been raining all day and that pup don't care for the wet stuff). Than a nap. Before tonight. Cuz I'm old.
Sigh. Mega Faries, hear my inner wishes and let us win tonight. I'm ready to retire.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Nothing exciting going on. Holding steady between 175 & 180. I'm just not strong enough to say "no" to the cookie when it calls. And as long as I don't go over 180, I don't really mind. I'm in a good place. It might not be goal, but it's good. Christmas is coming; I'll be doing a lot of baking, so I just have to watch it.
I find it interesting that in my head I am still big. My belly bothers me; my thighs looks huge, but the clothes I wear tell me something different - that I'm not as big as I think in my head. Sometimes when I really look in the mirror, I still amazed to see my chin/cheeks and collar bone. I'm amazed how some outfits I have make me look really slender. Because what I'm seeing doesn't fit the mental image, and I have to wonder when that becomes the norm. It's been a year and four months since surgery. I've been at my current weight pretty much since January (up & down). When will my head catch up with the bod?
One of the other ladies here at work that had had the surgery said she met a woman who had WLS 7 years ago. She had initially regained 40 pounds, but lost that and has maintained her goal weight all this time. I find that inspiring. One hears too many "she gained it all back" stories, and I just can't have that happen. At first, I was very cocky with "that will never happen to me," but that was way before my appetite came back and before it got easier to eat. Now I can totally see how easy it is to let yourself go and not monitor stuff and get right back up there.
I have noticed that sugar affects me more now. Since day one, I could do sugar and I did (in my coffee; every day). I would have chocolate/candy once in a blue moon. Eventually, I was able to eat cookies/cakes/pies. And I never experienced the "dumping syndrome." Well, I think it's catching up with me. If I eat/drink sugar now, my heart starts palpitating, I get all hot and flushed and I feel a bit jittery. I'm told that this is the dreaded "dumping," (I was never quite clear - I thought it meant throwing up). Apparently, sugar now has a lot shorter route to the heart, since a good portion of my intestines have been removed/rerouted, so it's like a hypo-needle straight to the heart, and the heart doesn't like that. So that's another incentive to lower the amount of sugar I eat, cuz when I go into dumping mode, I can't stand it - very uncomfortable and disconcerting.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
I told you I got the Acai berry stuff from Costco. 99% pure acai berry - pours almost like ketchup; thick and goopy. I've been taking the prescribed ounce daily since I bought it weekend before last. And it's not as foul as my brother-in-law intimated that it might be. I wouldn't call it yummy but totally doable.
Yesterday morning, I get back from walking Spark and we're ready to leave for work when I remember that I hadn't taken my ounce of Acai berry juice yet. So I go to the kitchen, grab the bottle off the fridge, shake it like it sez on the bottle and tried to open it. It wouldn't so I grabbed a tea towel and worked the cap. Before I knew what was happening, that shit exploded ALL OVER THE FLIPPING KITCHEN and ALL OVER ME!!! What a freakin' mess. Dark purple junk EVERYWHERE and I am not exaggerating here. K came running in after hearing the very loud "pop" and couldn't believe the state of the kitchen.
Took us 40 minutes to wipe that shit off the walls, the fridge, the cabinets, the dishwasher, the counter, the floor, etc. etc. etc. I was tempted to leave it until we got back home from work, but we were afraid it would stain, and we were right. On one wall that I did last, you can still see very faint splatter marks, so I'm glad we were able to clean it up so quickly.
Of course, that made us very late for work. Not happy about that at all. I felt like such a cartoon when I looked in the mirror. All over my new black slacks and my nearly-new black and white sweater. They're still soaking in the washing machine - didn't get a chance to run a load last night. I sure hope it comes out. Will be majorly bummed if they're ruined.
Co-worker told me it sounds like a processing problem and fermentation; that gas just built up so much due to the incorrect processing. Which kind of sounds weird to me, as I've been using it every day with no problems. Wonder why it would do that from one day to the next.
So, still too fresh to be funny. Did go to Costco today, though, and exchanged the bottle for a new one. I just hope it doesn't do it again.
Monday, September 14, 2009
And while I have my day-time snacking under much better control, I'm still fighting the night-time hungries. Dinners I do fine; it's while I'm finally at my computer with the TV on, with my glass of wine, and I'm relaxing. I'm trying to substitute stuff (pretzels instead of chips; little dill pickles instead of candies; that sort of thing), and for the most part, that's going OK.
But all of this has reinforced how much better I feel at this weight as opposed to what I once was. It feels good to have my jeans not straining at the button. I'm amazed what 5 pounds can feel like.
Just got to keep it up. I've realized this before, but this weight thing? It's going to have to be a conscious thing for the rest of my life.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Just got back from the market. Had to go order a cake for a co-worker's anniversary for tomorrow. While there, I saw banana cake by the slice. Had one in my hand, thinking with coffee tonight for Special K and me, but then I put it back, cuz I knew it was more for me than K. She could care less about sweets (her thing is carbs and meats), so no biggie for her. At least until I am at my goal of 155, no more cakes. No more cookies. No more
Just to have to tell myself that only I can make this happen. I will not be a statistic.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
I just can't.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Sigh. The Honeymoon is (well, has been) officially over. And I believe my pouch has stretched out farther than I would have liked it to. I have gained weight back - I'm not saying how much only because it's so depressing and I cannot let it get to me.
All these things I thought I learned and trained myself on - out the window with the return of my appetite. Once I start eating, it's so hard to tell myself to stop. And because my pouch is still much smaller than my old stomach used to be, I can hurt myself if I go too far. It goes beyond feeling full - it can get painful, except it takes your mind, what, 10-15 minutes? to tell your stomach that it's full, so if you're not paying attention to what you're putting in your mouth, you can overfill it, and boom - ouch.
If I wanted chocolate, a mini-size was more than enough to satisfy my craving. Now I want the whole bar, so I have to cut that out all together until I get my head to a place where it understands moderation. Cookies - one was just fine. Now I want three or four. Just eating all kinds of crap that I shouldn't be and I know it while I'm eating it. So I don't understand how it is that this "want to eat" is so strong, after more than a year of hardly eating anything. One would think that the body is used to much less, so it doesn't need that much. So why the overwhelming hunger pangs?
I just refuse to allow myself to get back up there. My size 12 jeans still fit, but they're snug, whereas, for a little while there, they were just a bit loose (I wasthisclose to that size 10!) I know this comes off as vanity when I say my clothes aren't hanging as nice; therefore, I'm not feeling as pretty as I did, but it's not that. I am just SO AFRAID that I'm going to let myself slooooowwwwlllly gain it all back. And that's just not an option. I did not go through all of this just for a few months of being thin. I like being thin. I want to stay thin. I like writing that - I am thin and want to stay thin. I read back over some previous posts and I see "I like seeing what I see in the mirror more than what that "whatever" would have tasted" in several places.
Gotta get it back on the ball. Gotta up the water intake and cut out the crap. I was just too close to my goal to lose it now.
I'm not a praying woman, but dang - pray for me, 'k?
Friday, July 31, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Every time it gets very hot, this old song from Kiss Me, Kate (sung by the late, great Ann Miller) comes to mind.
It's not allowed to get over 90 degrees in the Seattle area - it just isn't. But apparently, someone didn't get that memo, cuz, baby, we are in the midst of a doozey of a heat wave. And I don't like it - no, sir; not one bit. Supposed to get over 100 today. If the weather folks are right, each day after today, it will start cooling off by a couple degrees per day, so that by the weekend, beginning of next week, we looking at mid-80s, which, while still hot, is way better than today.
Although, I have noted that while I still don't care for "hot," it does not bother me as it used to, pre-surgery. I'm able to tolerate it better now. So that's a plus, although I worry about Special K and I worry about Spark. They're not handling the heat well at all. K isn't able to sleep and feels totally drained. And even though we got Spark his summer cut last Saturday, he's still panting away. (I've got to get a pic of him up for you all - he looks so funny without his Westie skirt and fluffy butt.)
Last night, I ran a cool bath and sat in it for about an hour, reading my book, enjoying a glass of wine. Once I got out, I thought Sparky might enjoy getting wet (it was 10:00 at night and still well over 80 in the house - that's the bad part; when the evenings don't cool down enough to get comfortable), so I stuck him in the tub and got him all wet. He just stood there, tail wagging a little occasionally. He'd look up at me once in a while, as if to say "wow - thanks - feels good!" And once I took him out and dried him off, he did a happy dance/run through the house. He very obviously felt much better. And he felt better to the touch; it was apparent that the bath had brought down his body temperature.
I'm thinking we'll need to do that again tonight.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
This is on top of a mountain at Sun Mtn Lodge - a very pricey hotel. Very pretty but we loved our cabin. No view like this, but we had everything we needed in a cute little space and best thing, they allowed dogs, so we could take the Sparkster with us.
This is a neat tree over Lake Diablo, which we took on the way home through the Cascades. There's still snow up in the mountains - pretty amazing. Such a beautiful state we live in - do love it here in the Pacific North West!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Handsome ole' dude, huh? He loved the parks as much as Spark does. Did I mention how big he is?
Just look at those legs! Just his legs are way taller than Spark - lol. He sure is a sweetie, though. And we've got to give Spark his air time, too:
It really was a lot of fun having Hersh visit us. When we did take them to the park, Special K would be way back where ever, because Spark walks soooo sllloooowww, whereas Hershey, with his long ole legs, would be way ahead. Then he would stop and we would have to go back to see where K & Spark was - it was really very cute how he always had to check on them. He was truly our protector that week. Very sweet.
I think it's time to go visit Hersh. And T&J, of course...
Monday, June 29, 2009
When I first contemplated having this surgery, I imagined that I'd never, ever enjoy eating out again, but I've found that there's always something on pretty much all menus that will not only satisfy my hunger, but that I will enjoy, as well. And I really thought that would never happen.
Last week, I had lunch with a co-worker; we went to a local bbq joint. It just smells so heavenly in there. My original plan was to just have the chili, but after the aroma, I knew I just had to have something meaty. But all the dishes were so huge! I told the waitress about my WLS and asked if I could order off the Buckaroo (kiddie) menu and she said sure, so I ordered the bbq baby-back ribs.
I thought I had died and gone to food heaven. I was able to eat a whole rib, and man, did that taste wonderful. Very flavorful. Didn't even need any Papaya pills. And surprisingly, the order was still huge - four ribs but very meaty, along with a coleslaw side. My friend was surpried, too - she said my meal would've been enough for her. And the best part - it was only $6 (and I took the remaining 3 ribs and brought them to Special K, who loved them, too).
Serving portions have gotten pretty ridiculous at most eateries (don't even get me started on Claim Jumpers, which I haven't been to in over a year and don't plan to anytime soon - their portions are monsterous!) Folks just have to realize it doesn't take all that much food to fill one up. But that's a whole 'nother subject.
Good to be able to eat pork again - I have missed it so!
I had put in for a two-week vacation (over the 4th of July weekend, so 9 days) - it got denied. I'm in the hole with my PTO (those 10 days they made us take last December put me there; still digging out from under). So I tried 4 days - nope; denied. Only way to get any time off would be unpaid. We had already decided not to go to Milwaukee, as Special K's brother is still out of work and even though he's still throwing his annual party on the lake for the Big Bang (fireworks/4th celebration on Lake Michigan in Milwaukee), he can't afford to fly up (he lives in Arizona - pretty cool to throw this party annually for friends and family when half the time, he doesn't make it up himself). So since he can't go, we figured not to, either, since we won't get to see him. We then thought just to go to the Black Hills to see the fireworks at Mount Rushmore, and then swing by to see our friends who recently moved to Patterson, Ca. But we can't afford for me to take 4 days unpaid, so I'm taking just one and we're staying local.
Oh, well. Maybe next year. Then I'll have time built up again.
Not much happening on the "diet" front. Hanging steady at 169 (give or take a few pounds on any given day). Trying hard to up the water consumption; I think that alone would help, cuz I never did get very good at getting my 64 oz in daily. Just not thirsty most of the time, and I just don't think of it. I do drink a lot of coffee, but that's more so I won't eat :o) cuz I do seem to want to snack ALL THE TIME. Not sure what's up with that; I don't think I was this bad when I was heavy.
So, it's a short week. And the weather's been beautiful. I'm so grateful for our Washington weather; while other parts of the country are sweltering , we're comfortable.
This is one of the reasons why we put up with those nasty winters.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
I had, over the past few months, put back 6 pounds. I was 175 for quite a while. Very disappointing - mostly in myself that I haven't learned better self control. And it isn't as if I'm gorging on "bad stuff." It's probably the habit I've picked up of having a glass of wine every night. Empty calories. And chips. And cookies. I seem to still not be able to do a lot of foods, oftentimes foods that are healthy, but I have absolutely no problem getting cookies or chips down.
There are a lot of things I refuse to let myself have, such as boxed cereals (the Captain Crunch types) or boxed pastries (HoHos, Ding Dongs, Cupcakes). I find myself at the grocery store with these items in my hand, reminiscing how wonderful they taste, but I'm always able to talk myself out of buying processed sugar. If I have a cookie, it's from either the bakery or my own. Don't know if that matters much, except perhaps in quantity. If I bought a box of cookies, I'd eat a lot more than just one or two. It's as if I'm going to expend the calories on something I really shouldn't be having, it's got to be good; no crap. And I truly feel that if I can keep this in moderation, it'll be OK, since this is a life-long thing. I can't really expect myself never, ever to have a cookie again. That's unrealistic and unlivable.
But some good news (at least, for me): I've dropped those 6 pounds over the past week, and it's basically just having been too busy (and the first part of this week, too ill) to eat much of anything. So I'm telling myself to try and keep it going in this direction, since I do want to drop this last 20 pounds and call it good.
Cuz that size 10 is still calling out to me...
So, in cleaning out that dresser, she comes across a lot of items she thinks I might like, and she's right. She's always had lovely taste in clothing. One thing I noticed, though, is that sizes aren't what they used to be. She gave me several tops - all which fit, but all are mediums. I'm in larges now - mediums are generally still a bit tight, but these mediums fit like the larges do. Odd, huh? Just to clarify; these tops she's given me are from the 60s and the 70s. They're timeless; one wouldn't know they're that old, but it's obvious that over the years, the size table has changed towards smaller. That's probably because folks are more health conscious now.
I find this interesting. Wonder if anyone's done any research or studies on this. Another job for google.
Friday, June 5, 2009
This was taken at a hot dog roast my boss threw for our bldg a few weeks ago. On the left is another one of our gastric bypassers - Jenny, and in the middle is our captain of our Heart Walk team this year, Sam (I've been captain for the past 5 years; thought I wanted a break, though now I'm finding I'm missing it - go figure :o)
Sam has lost about 140 pounds, on her own. She's been seeing a nutritionist and sees her doctor regularly, but no surgery for her. I'm certainly not putting down surgery. For some of us, it was what we needed to get where we are, but if I could have lost this massive amount of weight without having altered my body, you bet I would have preferred that.
So our Heart Walk team this year is called "The Biggest Losers and our supporters." My Special K came up with that - pretty cool, huh? It's going to be hard this year; everyone's feeling the recession's pinch, but like I've been posting on the site and in my donation request e-mails, heart disease doesn't go away just because there's a recession. So I have to try. Click the HW logo to link to my page, if you have a spare $25 (or more!) to donate to such a worthy cause:
And we had a visitor a few weeks back. Good friends of ours took a trip to the East coast for a week and left their BIG canine companion with us. Bumming because I can't find the pictures I took of him - thought I had them here. Anyways, his name is Hershey and he's BIG. He's a sweetie - almost thinks he's a lap dog. Loves his lovin', loves his walks, loves his treats - BIG lovable galoot! Did I mention that he's BIG? Since we have little Sparky, anything else decent sized seems large, but damn, Hersh is BIG. Special K came up with "Mr. Big" just as the week was ending. What was so funny is that he is just like Sparky in that where ever you are, he needs to be. Where ever you're walking, he needs to be right in step with you. Going potty even - hey, he'll keep you company. Too funny. Sparky always sleeps on K's side of the bed - that's where his bed is, so of course, that's where Mr. Big wanted to sleep, too. One night K rolled over me to get out of bed to go the bathroom. Didn't want to step on DOG - OK to squish her honey instead - lol!
Then after the week was up, T&J came to pick up their Mr. Big and went home. All of a sudden, the house seemed a little empty. That Mr. Big? Welcome back here any time.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Stay tuned, though. Want to tell you about our house guest last week - Mr. Big.
Monday, May 11, 2009
When they got me home, I let Sparky out to meet Hershey (big, lovable guy - he's T&J's canine companion), and J whipped out his new camera and took this shot:
He's so good - he even added his artsy style and faded the photo's edges. I love it. And he was able to get the Sparkster looking straight ahead (quite the almost impossible feat with that little stubborn guy.)
Had a nice time Friday - always good to see good friends.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
As this shows, I'm only 10 pounds away from no longer being considered overweight!
Wow! Only 10 pounds. Amazing! Would be great if I could drop that by my one-year surgiversary on 5/25 :o)
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Famous last words. It was the night from hell. Had 6 pukers; did any one of them (or their friends) tip me? No. Left their messes and split. One said she was going to (a friend of the puker) - I saw her hand a $5 bill to her other friend. That friend did not give me that bill. Had one young lady break a beer bottle - did she leave me a tip? No. Just a mess to clean up. Had "ladies" (I use that term loosely) just taking stuff left & right; tampons, toothbrushes, lotion, etc, etc, etc. The majority of them did not tip me.
I worked my ass off tonight - was not even fun. Tips were piss-poor. I'm just so pissed right now; if it weren't 2:28 am, I'd call the young lady I work for and quit. I need my honey to talk me out of quitting. But she's asleep (as she should be). I 'know' there will be bad nights; this isn't the first. I'm not sure why I'm that upset tonight. Most nights, the majority of the ladies who avail themselves to my stuff (I have everything and anything one can think of that someone might need on a night out; lotion, body spray, hair spray/mousse, hair things, tampons/pads, sewing kit, band-aids, eye drops, aspirin, Tums, cough drops, toothbrushes, floss, mouth wash, mints/gum/chocolates, oil blotters, safety pins, even flip flops in case someone's shoes hurt so bad, etc.) don't tip. I don't think they know (or care) that this stuff comes out of my pocket (yeah, I get to write it off my taxes, but that's beside the point). But generally, enough ladies make up for the ones that don't tip. Not always - definitely not tonight. Damn. Lot of nasties tonight. Even had a couple of girls that asked if I would hold their coats (that's usually good for a five or a ten) - nothing. And I broke the cardinal rule tonight. I was so disgusted by this point, that after they left the restroom, I opened the door and called out to them. Told them, just for future reference; it's customary to tip someone when they do you a favor. They just looked at me with blank stares. Clueless.
Absolutely nothing to do with weight loss, but hey, it's my blog. No-one's up to hear me bitch. So there.
And as I drove up my street, almost home, I see the moon. Beautiful half-moon, surrounded by a haze. And I think to myself "damn, not even a full moon to explain away all the crazies tonight."
Thursday, April 30, 2009
And two more pounds :o) Still working - lovin' that!
Monday, April 27, 2009
And wonderfully, my co-worker is coming right into the sizes of all those lovely clothes that Miss R gave me, so I bagged them up over the weekend and brought them in to her this morning. I'm so glad someone will get use out of those pieces. Only things I kept were the vest (since it fits so nicely) and the black and white blouse, which I know is way too big, but I can't bear to part with it yet. It is just so my cup of tea, and it's a clingy type material, so it doesn't look too over big.
I had a revelation Saturday; Kathy and I were walking through a little mall from Rite Aid to Seattle's Best, and we passed a dress store. Typically my eyes would gloss over and I'd pass the store, not really paying attention to what was in the window, since 99.99% of the time, the store wouldn't have my size. I started doing that Saturday, when it suddenly occurred to me; wait a minute - I can fit into all these styles now. It's OK to look! If I were to see something I really liked, I could go in and totally expect them to have my size!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
A co-worker gave me a size 10 pair of black jeans. I thought, ok, cool - I'll fit into them one day, but Special K told me to try them on, and guess what? They fit (sort of...)! Now, I had to really suck it in to zip up, and it was a little hard to breathe, but I'm a lot closer to that 10 than I thought I was.
Of course, it's all just numbers. Just over the weekend, I tried on some 13s and 14s, and they didn't fit so well (although I think it was just a weird cut - if the waist fit, the legs were too tight; if the legs fit, the waist was all baggy). It all depends on the manufacturer. That's why while I'm mostly in large, some XLs fit nicely, too.
Miss R was cleaning out her closet (getting ready for their big move down to California next month :o( ) and gave me a huge bag of clothing for which she said she no longer had any use. Some really beautiful, quality items - nice suits, beautiful blouses. Only bummer (and she said this may be the case) is that most of it is too big. I'm wearing one of her blouses today; it's gorgeous but it is a little bit too big (16-18, per the tag). The only item that fit perfect was a little black vest - so pretty! I think I'll ask one of my co-workers here what size she's down to and see if she can get any use out of this stuff. Oh. A coat to die for - almost like a swing coat with a fur-lined hood. A beautiful evening coat. Could've really used that this past winter. I'd love to pass it on to someone that will get good wear from it.
161. Man. I know I overuse this word, but it's still just so amazing.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Going clothes shopping brings this home even further. I "know" I'm now a large, but I'm finding it hard to bring larges into the fitting room and finding them fitting just fine. I'll start with XLs only to have to go back to get a Large. When I fit a pair of pants on and I see myself in the mirror, it's incredible to see (for me, anyway) me staring back. If you'd told me a year ago that I'd be fitting quite nicely into Larges and a size 13-14 pant, I'd say you were nuts. I don't think I really expected to do this well with the tool I've been given.
I feel my head is in a healthy place. I've gotten over the wrinkles (that took some doing!) and I've gotten over the sagging skin (it's actually not as bad as I thought it was going to be), but I still find that my mind is set back to when I was big. When I fit into something I once thought impossible, whether it be a top or a chair, I'm thrilled all over again. When someone tells me how small I am now, I'm flabbergasted - just this morning, a co-worker was asking if I was in a medium. Told her no, large - and she refused to believe me. Told her I was still at 174, and she responded that she was 185 (totally didn't look it - she's so much shorter than I am, and doesn't look that heavy at all).
Rambling now - not quite sure what I'm trying to articulate here, other than, even after all this time, it's all so amazing. I wonder when it will become the "norm" for me :o)
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
This past Saturday night, the last trio of ladies in the restroom at the nightclub were doing their thing while chatting with each other; two were sisters, and they were all large. The sisters were very large, as I was at the beginning of my journey.
They were bitching about their bodies and how they couldn't lose weight since the birth of their babies, etc., etc. I was just wanting to start packing it up, standing off to the side, so I piped up "Come on, ladies - you are all beautiful!" One of the sisters looked over at me and said "Says the woman who obviously never had a weight problem in her life."
My jaw just dropped and I started giggling. They asked what was so funny. I replied "oh, I've lost a little bit of weight this past year." The third asked how much and I told her "158 pounds." They all shrieked - couldn't believe. Asked how I did it, so I told them, whereas the two sisters started with each other: "See, I told you that's the route we have to go!" "No, no, no - I'm not going to mutilate myself!" "But we're already mutilating ourselves with all this fat!" Back and forth they went. After congratulating me, they walked out still "debating" whether surgery was their answer or not.
Goes to show you - you don't always know just by looking what a person is all about.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
And here are the two loves of my life - Special K and the Sparkster. This was taken out at my folks' house - Sparky's saying hello to a couple of the neighborhood dogs.
Got a new camera; well, it's not new, but it is to us. Rita gave it to us (A very nice little Canon digital - having so much fun with it), as she got herself a new one. Nice to have a working camera again.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Weight's holding steady at 175. Jazzed about that, because I'm enjoying pretty much anything I get a hankering for. Saturday was hard - got sick twice. Had left over pasta - that hurt (you know how pasta tastes better the day after, and even better the day after that? No more - too dry, I guess.) and then we went out to dinner with friends. I had the Swimming Rama with chicken - again, too dry. Should've quit when I realized that. Usually Swimming Angel (or Rama, as this place called it) is soaked with peanut sauce, but this place used barely cooked spinach and hardly any sauce. I asked for extra, but it didn't help. I had to go to the restroom and give it back. Then I had to go to work right from dinner (at the nightclub - was a miserable night, even though I kicked ass in the tip dept.).
The weather was glorious yesterday - took Sparky to Marymore park (they have an off-leash area to walk your dog), and man, it seemed like everyone with a dog was there! So much fun. I just love seeing and meeting so many different doggies - too dang cute! Gonna be another beautiful, sunny day today (up in the 70s, they say), so I'm wearing some of my new Spring stuff - a beautiful tri-colored Indian-dyed skirt (peach/green/gray) with a brown camisole and a light shrug. Paired with my newish tan slip-on wedges - Very nice.
I just love how much fun clothes are again. And shoes!
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Not in the mood to write - still bummed. Always thought I'd grow out of this type of disappointment. So much for that.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Yes, I know smoking stinks to non-smokers. I try to be very considerate around non-smokers. But this takes the cake. I did not complain about the body odor in that room. First class was great - nothing, but the last two, especially once class gets under way, phew! I figured it's part of the program - gotta deal with it.
Guess not. The owner was very nice and hoped I could come up with a solution so that I can continue coming (ie: quit smoking), but dang. Like I'm going to quit for some strangers in a class that have hairs up their butts, or rather, noses 'cuz they smell smoke - heaven forbid!
So, gotta find some other form of exercise. Bummer.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Ain't complainin' though - way better than the white stuff that sticks around.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Instructor says I did very good. I'm not so sure - I couldn't keep up. At one point, I got very dizzy and nauseous. I just got down in the beginning position (almost fetal but on your knees) and rode it out. I kept trying and that's what the instructor liked; that I stayed with it.
Very glad I went - looking forward to the next session.
Friday, March 6, 2009
And here's the birthday boy. It was a very nice get-together, even if half the food wasn't great, and the service even worse - good company can generally overcome anything.
Monday, March 2, 2009
So, I'm going to go for yoga. I'm not one for the gym; never liked exercise and still don't. I have a beautiful stationary bike in my living room, right in front of the TV - do you think I'm on that thing every day? Nope. Three days a week? Uh, uh. Once a week? No way. I've read some about yoga; Special K even got me a beautiful yoga mat a while back. So I'm checking some of the local yoga places around work, so that I can go either on my lunch or right after work.
This will be very interesting.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Quiet week - had a tooth pulled and an abscess lanced. My mouth is much happier now. And snow - two weeks away from Spring and we had about 3 inches yesterday. Except for some left on lawns and trees, it's all gone, thank goodness. It's so pretty, but it's hell to try to get around with the streets all slushy and icy. Plus people (not all, but most) just don't get it. They drive like there's nothing there. So many accidents on the roads yesterday morning. We stayed home until we saw most of the road again, then we headed in to work.
And today, the weather is beautiful - hope it lasts through the weekend.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Sometimes, that works. But sometimes, the cookie wins.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
What are your middle names? Kathy's is Joyce and mine are Maria Renee Jacoba
How long have you been together? Wow - over 12 years, now; will be 13 in July.
How long did you know each other before you started dating? Kathy answered an ad I had put in the L.A. Times - we started dating right off.
Who asked whom out? Kind of mutual, actually, since she answered my ad. Our first contact was a 4-hour phone conversation, which at the end, we agreed to meet for coffee a few days later.
How old are each of you? I'm 50 and K is 56, soon to be 57 (in March). She calls me her young chick.
Whose siblings do you see the most? Mine - my brother lives up here in the NW, so we see him frequently. Hers are all out of state.
Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple? My want to spend and her want to save, although she can be a little shopper in her own right, and I've begun to like the saving part.
Did you go to the same school? Nope - she grew up in Milwaukee and I grew up in New York/Miami/Los Angeles.
Are you from the same home town? Nope. See previous answer.
Who is smarter? K, most definitely. She reads everything she can get her hands on and retains the information. I call her my good-idea honey.
Who is the most sensitive? Tied, I think - we're both pretty sensitive (give us a good tear-jerker and we're both bawling.)
Where do you eat out most as a couple? Varies - we like to try new places.
Where's the furthest you've traveled together as a couple? Milwaukee.
Who has the craziest exes? Haven't really discussed those at length, so I don't think either of us have had any crazy exes.
Who has the worst temper? That would be me. But once I blow, it's gone. K has a tendency to hold it inside and let it fester, although she's getting better at expressing herself.
Who does the cooking? We both do; depends on who feels like it. I make great breakfasts, and K's good at experimenting with new recipes or coming up with cool ones on her own.
Who is the neat-freak? Me - I like everything in it's place, where K lets stuff pile up. I've mellowed a lot to where it doesn't matter as much any more, and K's gotten better at not stock piling everything.
Who is more stubborn? mmmm, Dutch stubbornness here - German/Welsh stubbornness over there - tie, probably.
Who hogs the bed? Sparky. Definitely.
Who wakes up earlier? Me. I love getting up when no one else is up yet; have my coffee, read the paper on-line.
Where was your first date? The Swing Cafe (coffee shop) on Santa Monica Blvd in West L.A.
Who is more jealous? Neither of us have a jealous nature, but if I had to pick one, I'd say K - she thinks folks are always on the make for me.
Who eats more? That would K now that I have a pouch smaller than half of my fist.
Who does the laundry? K, usually, but I'll do it when there's a need and she's busy. But she's better with the laundry, while I'm better in the kitchen (cleaning-wise).
Who's better with the computer? I used to think K, but I'm finding out it's me. She knows more about innovative stuff/technology than I do, but it's usually me setting up the pc or new software or explaining applications to her.
Who drives when you go out together? Usually, me. K can drive, but she's a very cautious, slow driver, which would drive me batty. I'm the more forceful, aggressive driver, so I get us where we need to go.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
And our party Friday night was a lot of fun. Seemed like it kicked off the weekend just right. Even though it was our team's holiday celebration (original date was snowed out; the second date was flooded out - three times the charm), they also had a card that everyone on the team signed (except for K - they didn't want her to know) and they collected money to give me a very nice sized Sears gift card. So very sweet. Oh, and they had a "princess set" for me to wear:
Came complete with a tiara, broach, earrings, necklace and a ring. So cute. Very nice of the team to do all that for me - I was blown away.
Teetering up and down between 177 and 180. I really have to watch the snacking. It seems all I want to do is eat these days and it's scaring me. Each day I wake up and say to myself that today I'll be good. But then the day gets underway, and it's a cookie here and some crackers there. I know I said I'd be fine if I didn't lose anymore, and that is certainly true. But I don't want to gain anything back. It would be so easy to let go and not be careful and end up pretty much where I was before, and that's just not an option.
I long for the days where food just did not interest me.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Made me smile and I love starting the day smiling :o)
Monday, February 2, 2009
We had free flight tickets from a promotion at the end of 2007. The forms asked for 3 different destinations, 3 different departure dates and 3 different return dates. I put in LAX only and gave a few choices for the dates, but not all that they asked for, as we don't have the luxury of going whenever we want. With that mandatory vacation that work made me take in December, I'm short vacation days for this year, and I certainly don't want to go in the hole with my 2010 vacation this early on in the year.
I even enclosed a letter, explaining why I wasn't filling in all the fields - told them I wanted to spend my 50th b-day at Disneyland. Think that mattered? Not a bit. They've got sticks up their collective asses - so rigid. I called both TLC and T-Mobile; no good. Very disappointed in T-Mobile - they've been great as our cell phone provider, but what good is a promotion if you can't use it? I don't get how they can ask for 3 different destinations. They don't let you know what you get until 2 weeks before - how are you supposed to plan for something like that? And you can't tell me that there aren't enough flights going between Seattle and L.A. to get us two little measley tickets. But because we didn't fill out all the fields, we "disqualified" ourselves. Bullpucky.
We could buy two tickets - would only run $300 - $350, but we didn't budget for that, and our car already bit a big chuck from our vacation funds a couple weeks ago. If we bought tickets, it wouldn't leave us much to play with.
Ah, well. We'll have a nice day, anyway. Folks are coming to take us to lunch and then Special K and I will go out that night (we're taking Monday off to recuperate :o)
As for T-Mobile? Come November, when our contract is up, it's Verison or Sprint for us.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Came across a fellow WLS blogger, and all of his titles to his posts are song titles, so I couldn't help it. Gotta love Queen - now that's gonna be running through my head all day.
So, another pound gone - yea! Even though it's slower now, it's still exciting when I see the weight still coming off. Saw the folks last weekend - Pop's still stressing that I'm losing too much. Good grief. First I was too big; now I'm getting too small. I wish there was something I could say to him so that he wouldn't worry, but I guess that's a dad's perogitive.
He's got a point, though - Special K said the same thing; if I were to just maintain and not lose any more, that would be alright. And it would be. I'm in a much better place now. I can breathe, walk forever, climb stairs and hills, bend over with no effort - clothing is fun again. But I want more. Being told once I'd never be a size 10 has been something that stuck in my brain, and I want to see if I can. If I am too thin, then great; I'll have fun putting some weight back on. But I just have to see if I can.
Not sure why that's important to me, but there you go.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Tuesday, I was so excited and in such a good mood - couldn't wait to see the swearing in of our new president and then listen to his inaugural address. Even stopped at a Krispy Kreme for my free doughnut, plus get a box for my area (red, white and blue sprinkles!) and a latte.
Well, after two & a half months waiting for my new pc at work, they decide Tuesday morning is when they're going to set me up. Told them OK, as long as they were done by 8:55 so that I could log on and find a web site with live feed so I could watch.
Didn't happen - everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. They missed more than half my files, gave me the wrong version to my mail client - did not move over my Internet favorites list, etc, etc, etc. To cut a real long story short (I know - too late), I lost it. Had a melt-down; very embarrassing. I logically knew they could fix things, but I'm not sure if my hormones are off-balanced, or if I've got so much toxins in my system from not being regular, but I was a basket case. Made myself so upset that I threw up. And even after I calmed down (and yes, they were able to fix almost everything - still waiting for one thing; they can't figure out why it's not working), my stomach hurt. Bad. Carried over to Wednesday. I came in for a couple hours and then went home. Slept almost all day. Today is actually the first day I feel "normal" again (probably helped that I took a couple Ex lax last night and the earth finally moved for me).
So, I missed seeing history happen. I am happy, though, that it did happen. I hope this is the beginning of a new era for America, but I also hope that expectations aren't too high that Obama won't be able to deliver. Oops, 'scuse me - President Obama.
Proud to call him that.
Friday, January 16, 2009
One of the side effects of this procedure is that I don't "go" regularly anymore. Once or twice every two to three weeks is the norm, now. For the most part, I don't even think about, but I always thought I'd even out and get back on a more regular schedule. I'm not overdoing the fiber (might not be getting enough) - I put wheat germ on my salads, which I eat pretty regularly.
Not so much fruit anymore - the only thing I can think of that I'm reacting to is the natural sugar. I tried to eat peaches a couple mornings ago, and I started to "dump," (sweating, gagging, stomach hurting). Very odd. I'm doing ok so far this morning with my grapefruit, but instead of the fruit cups I usually get (what can I say - I'm lazy; Mum's fault - she always cut up our fruit for us when we were young lol), I bought a fresh grapefruit last night. Cut it up this morning - so far, so good. Perhaps it's the commercial fruit cups (the peaches were in a lite syrup) my system is protesting. Although, last couple times I tried banana, that didn't go so well, either. (shrugs)
Had a conversation this morning with two of the other ladies here at work that have had this procedure, and this topic came up. One has colitus, so I can't go by what works for her, but the other said she's regular, but she takes a vitamin (which escapes me just now - have to go ask her again) that helps.
I have to wonder if this all is effecting how slow my lossage has been lately. There are times I feel bloated and just wish I could totally do some sort of internal cleansing something or other.
Ah, well - need to do some research. I'm sure it'll all work out in the end (pun totally intended!)
Thursday, January 8, 2009
And every single day, someone mentions how good I'm looking. I am blessed with nice co-workers. I've read elsewhere that many folks that go through WLS experience derogatory remarks from co-workers, as well as friends and family! I can't imagine that. My honey's been most supportive and loving, my family is so happy for me, as are our good friends. And at work, no-one's ever given me anything except support and compliments.
'Tis a lucky girl that I am!
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Still holding at 185. Not sure why, but I'm not complaining. Since I'm over 7 mos out, it makes sense that the lossage will be slowing down, and that's OK. I'm feeling fantastic, physically and mentally. Clothing is fun again.
Speaking of clothing, my boss asked his wife what to get a woman who's lost a ton of weight, and she told him "clothes, baby - she'll need lots of new clothes!" So, they got me a nice gift card to Macy's. At first, I thought how sweet, but Macy's? So expensive there. So, Saturday, Special K and I went to Macy's to find me one blouse or one sweater, and we were pleasantly surprised to find all sorts of sales going on. I was able to get a kick-ass pair of black jeans (with black sparkles on the back pockets - very cute! and a size 14! wow - so amazing), a quilted, but tailored purple vest, a beautiful blouse and a hot pink belt. And there's still a little money left on the card. Very surprised, but very pleased.
I've had several people tell me that they've done a double-take, after seeing me off to the side or in the distance, like "who is that person?" before they realized it was me. What a great compliment.
Ironically, my father is worried; he thinks I'm losing too fast, too much. I hate that he's worried; I tried to assure him that's the nature of the surgery I had. It's meant to come off fast and furious. And I'm not at goal yet. I'm thinking about 35 more pounds or so - whatever it takes to be a size 10 :o) Always wanted to be a size 10. He's afraid, that once I get to goal, I'll be unable to stop loosing, but I have no fear of that. I'm finding my appetite is growing. Not always, but sometimes, I feel like I can keep on eating whatever it is that I'm eating, and I'm trying so hard to instill the "little bit tastes just as good as a whole bunch" philosophy in my brain. I do not want to stretch my little pouch out much farther than it is right now. I wish there was a way to measure and keep track of that.
Another question for the surgeon, if I ever go see him again.