Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Up and down

It's enough to drive me crazy (ier!) - I so miss the honeymoon period, where I was dropping weight like there was no tomorrow. And what's so puzzling is when I look at what I eat daily, it shouldn't be enough to be putting all this weight back. But there it is. I would have thought that I'd level off, at least, and just stay at one weight.

Been better the past few days and dropped a couple pounds since the weekend. I did weigh in at 185 Sunday morning and this morning, it said 182. I do alright mornings into early afternoon, but mid-afternoon, I start getting peckish and look for unhealthy treats. I'll even bring in my protein bars or an apple, but that's not what my brain wants. So I go have a few jellybeans or candy corn, and once I do that, I think to myself that the day is lost anyway, go have whatever. Nights are even worse - I'll have dinner, but afterwards, while I'm watching TV and playing on the computer, I have my glass of wine and then I want to snack - chips, crackers and cheese, cookies - whatever's there.

My size 12s still fit, but they're getting snug. I don't have any other sizes and I refuse! to go buy anything bigger. I almost wish a doctor would sew my lips shut and just allow a hole for a straw. Almost tempted to go look up a hypnotist; trick my brain into thinking that eating is just to sustain the body - NOT FOR ENJOYMENT!

Dang. I know all the right things to do. It's like an obsession, but my will power is nil. Maybe I should go see a shrink.

1 comment:

  1. Don't give up on yourself. Making a change is a big and difficult tast, but it starts with little steps. :-)