The other "C" word

Saw Dr L Friday. The biopsy on the upper GI came back clean. Nothing wrong - all looks very good, he said. My pouch isn't even that stretched out. Reason for weight gain; poor food choices (durp! and let's not forget the wine and brandy). Totally still possible to lose the weight and use the tool I've been given properly. So easily said.

Now the two polups he found - he said they were both the "flat kind" and he was able to totally remove one, but only part of the other. Plus, he said if there's two, there's probably more, but since the sedatives were wearing off, he couldn't continue. They're not cancerous yet, but he said these are the kind that will turn cancerous and must be removed. So he wants another colonoscopy. I said no way, Jose; it was just too awful; I can't do it again. He said I don't have a choice here. He also promises that I will not feel it as he won't be doing anything else and will have enough time to get to where he's got to go without me feeling anything. I said ok, deal, as long as I can have the first appointment of the day (which turned out only to be an hour earlier - doctor works bankers hours - lol).

So, he takes me out to the young lady behind the desk and tells her I need to be scheduled for another procedure, and I said you bet; I enjoyed the first one so much, I wanna do it again! Gotta laugh about it, right?

Right?

Medical stuff

I had gone to see my surgeon last month (think I posted that here) as I was concerned about a few things; most notably is my having to use Prilosec sometimes twice a day. Yesterday, I had the upper GI and the colonoscopy done. I thought the worse would be yesterday morning - no cigs, no coffee, until after I got out. Ugh. I was wrong.

I don't remember the upper GI, although my throat is very sore today, but I do remember, in detail, the other one. I always assumed that they knocked you out to do this. But they only "sedate" you - two different types; I forget the names, except one was an opiate. I felt everything down there and it was not pleasant, nor was I. I can't believe the nurse told me how good I was when all I remember is bitching and cussing at them to basically stop it; that I changed my mind. And of course, they didn't listen.

Once out of recovery, Special K picked me up in the discharge circle and we were on our way home. My cigs were right there in the car and she bought me a bottle of water (what a sweetheart - I was so dehydrated!) I felt a little woozy, but not at all loopy like I thought I'd be, so I suggested going out for lunch (early dinner) - I was starving! So we did. I way overordered, but it was good :)

Now I have to wait until Friday for my follow-up with the doctor. The pictures of the upper showed a spot that they're sending in for a biopsy. That's a little frightening. And the pictures of the other shows two polups - one looks nasty and red; and it says something about a follow-up colonoscopy.

Not in my lifetime. Uh, uh - once was enough.

Anne Bergsma - RIP

Just found out last week that my mother's brother (last living one; she had 11 brothers and 2 sisters) was also very ill - very similar to Mum's situation in that he was in a lot of pain; there was nothing they could do for him, except give him morphine to dull the pain. His body, like Mum's, was strong and didn't want to go gently into the night. Took nearly a week for him, as well, but he did pass away this past Saturday.

I met him just a few times and knew he was a lovely person. Wouldn't have minded knowing him better, but he was mainly in Australia for many years (Mum emigrated to the US, Anne to Australia and the rest stayed in Holland - whatever wunderlust there was in that family went all to Mum and Anne lol).

I like to think that Mum was right there, ready to take Anne by the hand and help him cross over, and that they, along with the rest of their siblings and parents, are all together now.

No clue as to what's waiting for us, if anything, when we take our final breath. But I like my idea - it's comforting. So until someone shows me scientific proof that it ain't so, that's what I'm going to believe.