Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Uh, oh...

In speaking with my brother-in-law this weekend, I found out that my sister-in-law (who had had weight loss surgery years ago) has regained about 100 pounds. I feel so badly for her - I see exactly how easy it would be to do that. When I first started this journey and I would either hear or read stories about folks that have done that, I just couldn't imagine how that was possible, seeing as to how little I could eat at the time.

But that dreaded pouch stretches, damn it. Just like a regular stomach, it stretches. So if you constantly overfill it, it will do just that. I take back every mean thing I ever thought about Carnie Wilson and her struggles with her weight loss/regain/loss and regain again.

The thing that surprises me is that after almost a year of feeling yuck and not wanting to eat, to come full circle almost to the same intensity of hunger that I had pre-surgery - I don't see how it is possible. I thought if you do something steady for 3 - 4 weeks, it becomes habit. Uh, uh. Ain't so. Every morning, I start off with a determination not to eat anything; just fast for a few days and then go on fruits/salads/soups. I never get past mid-morning and my innards are growling at me "FEED ME, SEYMOUR!" And I'll be good - I'll go have oatmeal or an apple, but then comes lunch, and all of a sudden, my good intentions are out the window and instead of that salad I so lovingly made that morning, I'll go have a sandwich or a burger. And even though I cannot eat the entire sandwich or burger, it's a lot more calories than I need to be having.

Not sure where to go from here. Obviously, I'm not good at listening to myself.

1 comment:

  1. I'm good about packing a healthy lunch, not so good about eating it either....