Maintaining

Nothing new - just wanted to say hey. Still obsessed with my weight, which goes up and down, but I know this will be a for-life thing.

Thanksgiving is coming - excited about that. We're going to have a housefull and then two days later on Saturday, R&W is coming to stay the night (our friends who moved to mid-California back in May - they're coming up to spend Turkey day with his family). We're going to celebrate both Thanksgiving and Christmas to take advantage of them being here.

Thursday will be family and friends - the folks, the big bro dude, T&J (w/o Mr. Big - he's not doing so well, poor baby - bitch to get old and have parts not work right), Miss P, Mr. T. and R.G. That will make 10 of us. Have to remember to tell everyone that no-one is allowed to feed Sparky anything. Don't want a repeat of our Xmas/New Year celebration at the beginning of this year. So many folks fed him tidbits here and there that come evening, he was puking his guts out. I was amazed to see what came out of him. I guess they didn't realize that they were ALL giving him treats. He's going to hate it, cuz he does love to eat, but I don't want him sick again.

If I don't post before then, Happy Thanksgiving!

Euphoria!

I was sitting on the picnic bench outside the bldg's front door today, taking my break, reading my book and drinking coffee. Weather today predicts lots of rain and wind, but right then, it felt almost balmy.

All of a sudden, the wind picked up and all the fallen leaf lions were swirling and dancing in circles. What a sight! And at that very moment, I felt euphoric, for lack of a better word - very happy; glad to be alive. Not sure why; sure, it was a pretty sight to see all the different colored leaves swirling all over, but I almost felt like this was a profound moment for some reason.

And as quick as it came, then it quieted down. I felt almost bereft. For just a few seconds there, nothing mattered; my weight, K being sick, Mum not doing well, bills that are due, workplace insecure - all that disappeared for a brief moment.

If I could bottle that feeling, I'd be a rich woman.

Up and down

It's enough to drive me crazy (ier!) - I so miss the honeymoon period, where I was dropping weight like there was no tomorrow. And what's so puzzling is when I look at what I eat daily, it shouldn't be enough to be putting all this weight back. But there it is. I would have thought that I'd level off, at least, and just stay at one weight.

Been better the past few days and dropped a couple pounds since the weekend. I did weigh in at 185 Sunday morning and this morning, it said 182. I do alright mornings into early afternoon, but mid-afternoon, I start getting peckish and look for unhealthy treats. I'll even bring in my protein bars or an apple, but that's not what my brain wants. So I go have a few jellybeans or candy corn, and once I do that, I think to myself that the day is lost anyway, go have whatever. Nights are even worse - I'll have dinner, but afterwards, while I'm watching TV and playing on the computer, I have my glass of wine and then I want to snack - chips, crackers and cheese, cookies - whatever's there.

My size 12s still fit, but they're getting snug. I don't have any other sizes and I refuse! to go buy anything bigger. I almost wish a doctor would sew my lips shut and just allow a hole for a straw. Almost tempted to go look up a hypnotist; trick my brain into thinking that eating is just to sustain the body - NOT FOR ENJOYMENT!

Dang. I know all the right things to do. It's like an obsession, but my will power is nil. Maybe I should go see a shrink.

The perfect Xmas gift!

Aren't these gorgeous?

Got a friend, Jeff - occupation; kick-ass photographer.

He's got such a good eye for color and composition (almost sounds like I know what I'm talking about, huh?)

You can check out his other stuff here:

http://www.sinnockphotography.com

and here:

http://jeffreysinnock.redbubble.com

and here, too:

http://www.zazzle.com/jeffreysinnock

Christmas is coming - makes a perfect gift!

Some fixes

I've figured out how to let folks comment without having to register first, plus I found a cool line that you'll see below each post. I've seen them on other sites and I think they're fun.

I've also started another blog. K's been telling me for a while to get this up, especially when I come home from the club with another story. If you're interested, the link is over to the right, under "My Faves."

Almost quitting time. Then home to walk the Sparkster - glad to see the sun shining (been raining all day and that pup don't care for the wet stuff). Than a nap. Before tonight. Cuz I'm old.

Sigh. Mega Faries, hear my inner wishes and let us win tonight. I'm ready to retire.